To Love

Love is the highest form of maturity. It often requires a sacrificial gift. If love doesn't require some sort of sacrifice on our part, we probably don't love the other person at all. If there is no sacrifice in our actions, we are most likely reacting to something nice they did for us, or simply pretending to be kind to gain some control over them. Love is almost always undeserved by the person who receives it.

Our decisions should always have our spouse's interests in mind. Even a mediocre marriage requires sacrifice. It is important to understand that true love gives of itself.

Sacrifice means you are not going to have your way all the time. This means both the husband and wife are called to love each other with unconditional love. There has to be sacrifice of selfish desires if a couple is going to enjoy a triumphant marriage.

Loving and being loved are what make our lives worth living. Many people experience times in their lives when they feel unloved. During these times it's easy to dwell on those negative thoughts, but allowing it to continue leads to unhappiness and depression.

Love is the energy of life. It is what motivates people to get up each day and keep going. Love gives life purpose and meaning. Everywhere you look you see people searching for love…but they're looking in the wrong places. God is love, and they will never find what they're looking for until they find Him.

People look for fulfillment in life in different ways. These ways may seem good at first, but eventually the unsuccessful search will leave them feeling frustrated, disappointed and empty. The only way they can find the true fulfillment they are so desperately seeking is to choose to walk in love—to actually put love into action by reaching out and loving others.

As soon as I made a commitment to God, I began to hear people talk about the importance of loving others. Since I wanted to live my life according to the Bible, I wanted to walk in love, but I just couldn't. I had the urge…but no power to follow through. I always made elaborate plans but couldn't carry them out.

I began to understand that I could not love others because I had never received God's love for me. I knew in my head that the Bible said God loved me, but I didn't feel His love in my heart. I wondered how God could love us as imperfect as we are.

God loves us because He wants to—it pleases Him. God loves us because it's His nature to love, and He will always love us. He doesn't always love everything we do, but He does love us. God's love is unconditional. In fact, there's nothing we can do to ever escape His love. God's love is the power that forgives our sins, heals our emotional wounds, and mends our broken hearts.

Over time I came to realize that I am deeply loved by God simply for who I am, not because of any work I could do for Him. I could finally quit trying to earn His love by doing things I thought would make me more worthy of His love. I have found myself doing this same thing in relationships; I try to earn love by doing for others, but find out every time there is nothing I can DO to get them to love me, they either do or they don't by their actions. It doesn't change the fact that I can still love them unconditionally.

Once I began receiving God's awesome, unconditional love, I was able to start loving Him in return and reach out to others more freely in love. Because God's never-ending love was in me, I could give it to others without fear of ever running out.

Everyone in the world wants to be loved and accepted. And the love of God—that wonderful gift He freely gives us—should satisfy that need. His love flows to us, and then it should flow through us to other people.

Now I see myself as a container full of blessings. I want to be the type of person who can pour out God's love into the lives of the people around me. I've found that I'm always happier when I choose to make others happy. Yet, I have found that Some cannot be made happy, they lack the ability to accept love yet, or return it. So I just pray for them and keep loving them.

In the Bible, God calls Christians the salt of the earth (see Matthew 5:13). He expects us to "season" the lives of those around us. All of life is tasteless without love. Love is the salt, the energy of life, and the reason to get up every morning.

Every day can be exciting if we see ourselves as God's secret agents, waiting to sprinkle a little salt on all the lives we encounter. And we know that because we are deeply loved by God, we can never run out of love—no matter how much we give away.

To Honor

“Sprinkled throughout Scripture is a concept we feel is at the heart of all truly loving relationships. In fact the biblical concept of honor is one of the most powerful tools a husband or wife can use to carve out a lasting and intimate marriage. In Scripture, wives are told to give honor to their husbands (Ephesians 5:33) and husbands, to give honor to their wives (1 Peter 3:7). What do we mean by honor?”

“What do we mean by honor? Perhaps the best way to illustrate what the word means is to look at its opposite.

“In the Old Testament, the word dishonor literally means ‘to give something little means to give something little or no weight or value.’ Dishonoring people, then, means treating them as if who they are or what they have to share, or their feelings has little value. Dishonoring actions in a marriage may start with a critical word, an angry glance, statement or an action that devalues a person’s feelings or opinions. This may not provoke a major problem at first. Dishonor may settle like a mist over the relationship, so light that neither partner notices the change in climate. But if left unchecked, one day that mist of devaluing words and actions may build up and turn into a blanket or fog. It may then create physical, emotional, and spiritual problems and even jeopardize the marriage.

How can we avoid dishonoring our loved ones and begin to honor them instead? We can get a handle on honoring our spouses by looking at an important aspect of the word honor.

Throughout Scripture, giving people honor involves recognizing that they have great worth and then treating them like a valuable treasure. The word itself denotes placing a great price, weight, or significance on something. How does my treating my spouse like a valuable treasure draw us together?

‘Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also’ (Matthew 6:21). In other words, what we treasure is what we have feelings for. The more we treasure God, the greater our desire to spend time in His Word and in prayer. The more we treasure our spouses and treat them like valuable gifts from God, the greater our positive feelings toward them will be.

“We can picture it this way. If you had a priceless vase that had been in the family for years, you would go to great lengths to protect and care for it. You’d put it in a prominent place in your home and set up indirect lighting to highlight its beauty. You wouldn’t think of picking up a priceless vase and shaking it or throwing it around like a Frisbee. Instead, you would treat it with tenderness and gentleness because it was so valuable to you.

“Now stop and ask yourself a few important questions. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is of little value and 10 equals highest value, how highly do you value your spouse? Do you treat him or her like a special treasure God has entrusted to you? Other than your relationship with the Lord, are there things in your life or home that you consider more valuable than your spouse —your job, your friends, outings or even TV or Games? If your spouse were asked to stand up in front of your closest friends and family and share how highly he or she felt valued by you, what rating would he or she mention? Really ask yourself this question.

“In any relationship, there will be times when we are tempted to lower our spouse’s value below where it should be. However, when we make a decision to grant honor to our spouses —to recognize them as people of great value and then treat them like priceless treasures—we go a long way toward strengthening our marriages so that they can survive such times. Do you need practical examples of what it means to honor your spouse? Here are just a few ideas to get you started:

“Be interested in her feelings, Ask his opinion frequently. Be gentle and tender in your tone of voice and touch. Avoid sudden changes without discussion or giving the other person time to adjust. Follow through on promises, NEVER say you will do something and not do it. NEVER say you don't have to worry honey I won't do that when you WILL. Set and keep specific family goals for each year. Go on a romantic outing. Surprise her with a card or flowers. Defend him to others.(stand by your man). Keep your spiritual life in shape. Don’t ever say things in anger, ‘You’re just like your mother!’ "I can't wait to leave, I don't have time for this"!

“You can waste hours on a hundred different things, but you’ll never waste one minute putting honor into practice in your most important relationships. Do yourself and your spouse a favor. Give him or her a gift that can continue to bless both of you for a lifetime —the gift of honor.”

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Keep in mind that when we hurt each other, we’re hurting the testimony of Christ. When we dishonor one another we dishonor the testimony of Christ. When we act unloving and “un-Christ-like” to each other we’re hurting the living picture of Christ that God wants to display through us. After all, how will the world view the transforming love of Christ if we aren’t showing the love and grace of Christ toward one another in our marriages? Even if your spouse doesn’t treat you in the same way, realize that whenever you give honor to your spouse you are giving it “as unto the Lord.”