Three Principles of Discipleship

Three Principles of Discipleship

Matthew 28
18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.
19 "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
20 "teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen.

We know this as the ‘Great Commission’. This is also the greatest failure in the church. Without discipleship, believers do not understand how to live their faith. It is common to see the great evangelistic effort, but where is discipleship? A disciple is more than a convert and our call goes far beyond baptism. I was not discipled and I struggled to make sense of it all. I fell far away from God and no one reached out or even seemed to care. I didn’t know how to pray. I had no concept that God could use me much less did I think that there was a plan for my life. I did not know that feelings would not be my guide. When the feeling faded, I thought God had rejected me. I tried to pursue emotions, instead of a relationship with God. Why did problems come? Why didn’t God protect me? When I asked God to bless my self-focused desires, why didn’t He honor my prayer? Why don’t I know God’s will for my life?

I could write pages on the common questions that almost all new Christians ask. Unfortunately, the church has left its members to figure these out on their own. Because of this, many give up on Christianity, become calloused and complacent, or get swept away by those who teach error. In most churches, people make a profession of faith; they are congratulated, put on a role and forgotten. The church that seemed so loving and welcoming when I was a prospect, now has left me isolated in the middle of the crowd. Discipleship is not seeking converts, but bringing people into an intimate relationship with God. This begins with a conversion or surrendering ourselves to Jesus Christ. But this is only the beginning. Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. Surrender is where Jesus ‘authors’ our faith, discipleship points people to the finish line and teaches them how to run the race according to God’s purposes. In His purposes we find joy and fulfillment. There are three principles in discipleship – Relationships, Teaching, and Mentorship for Service.

1. Relationship
Of these three, the relationship is the most critical today. This is not because it is the most important, but it is the most neglected. For this reason, this message will put a lot of focus on this point. Most people are intimidated by discipleship. The word ‘discipleship’ has been elevated to a practice for the spiritually mature. People usually think of the ‘Timothy Principle’ where an elder Christian takes an immature Christian under his wing and makes him into a fellow minister. Although mentoring is one aspect of discipleship, that is not the only aspect of discipleship.

Friendship.
Discipleship = friendship with a Christ centered focus. We are all called to be disciplers. We are not called to become spiritual giants and then become disciplers. Anyone can be a friend. The problem with most people is that they feel insecure when it comes to reaching out. That is a flaw in our human nature. Everyone sits in the crowd and expects someone else to reach out to them. When no one reaches out, they feel lonely and isolated. The person beside them feels exactly the same way. Though people with introverted personalities struggle more with this, even charismatic people have this problem. They can be fun loving and handshaking, but still never get beyond the surface of a smile. We can easily be surrounded by smiling faces and touched by no one. You can touch someone’s hand with a warm handshake but that does not ever get beyond the surface and into the need.

A good illustration of this was a couple in a church I once attended. There was a couple that was so loving, kind, and energetic. I considered them to be one of the nucleus members of the church. They attended home Bible studies and knew all the members. What seemed sudden to us was actually a slow growing problem with them. They quit coming and we soon found out they were visiting other churches. That is not uncommon, but the reason has stuck with me. She said that the reason they were leaving was because she felt lonely. She didn’t know anyone, didn’t have any friends and felt alone. Wow! How could one of the life-blood member of that group say she was alone and friendless? The reason is that there was no discipleship. No one ever got beyond the surface and into her life. This has also happened to me in church. The lack of intimacy and friendship with fellow members.

The number one reason that people leave their church is they have no real relationships. People come into a congregation; they feel accepted and welcomed so they join. They may be respected and well liked, but because discipleship never gets beyond a Sunday morning handshake, they begin to feel isolated. Church becomes a routine instead of a hunger. People then go to church out of a feeling of obligation to God, not because we have a true love for God’s people. When we get to this point, we are only one disappointment away from giving up. We all need something more than this routine. The reason why we long for something more is because we were designed for something more. God did not create any ‘Lone Christians’. God calls us to lift each other up. There should not be a single person in the church that does not have at least one friend they meet with in an unstructured environment outside of church.

Accountability.
Ecclesiastes 4:

9 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.

Friendship is the key for accountability. Let me give two examples of this from my own life. I have a friend that is very active in his church. I have had several people tell me that he credits me with where he is spiritually today. It is almost comical to think about, but it really shows what discipleship is all about. I wasn’t very spiritual during the time we lived close to each other and our friendship flourished. At times, I was clueless and there were times when I regret how I really failed him as a friend and I wondered why he credits me with anything. Not one time that I can think of did I ever ‘expound’ the scriptures to him. I can’t remember even talking about the Bible. We became friends, I invited him to church and we went together every week. I didn’t nurture him along. I wasn’t his mentor; I was his friend.

The other example is a deacon in the church I was a part of when I was in my early twenties. He was one of the highlights of church. He had a lot of charisma and was enjoyable to be with. He went on a planned business trip for 3 weeks. Almost three months later, I still had not seen him. On the way to church I drove past his house and saw his car so I pulled in for a quick visit. My only intention was to say I had missed seeing him, and to make sure he was ok. We talked about little things and as I was leaving he said, “You are the first person from church that has bothered to contact me these last 3 months”. How can a deacon go unnoticed? But even if he wasn’t a deacon, there is still no excuse for anyone to go unnoticed. What a failure of the church. But it happens every week in churches around the world. The next week he was at church and he continued to come regularly. He felt touched by a simple 15 minute visit.

These stories aren’t meant to sound boastful. I was pretty much clueless, especially back then, but God ordained these circumstances so that I could look back at this time and see clearly how discipleship works. I did not even intend to act spiritual; I was just making contact with people I counted as friends. Today I can look back and learn from my failures and these circumstances, and apply it to what God has called me to do in my life. How many people drifted away that I never even thought about? Or how many times did I just assume that they were going to another church and it was too late? I have two success stories, but how many fell through the cracks? My prayer is that believers would take discipleship as a serious command and none would fall through. We can’t prevent people from leaving when they refuse to return, but those people are the exception. Most leave because they feel neglected.

Becoming a Discipler
There are only two types of people who can’t be a discipler – someone who is not a disciple ( a follower of Christ ) and someone who disobeys God’s command and refuses to disciple. The Bible says in Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” That is basic discipleship in a nutshell. Couple this with the passage from Ecclesiastes we read earlier and the vision for Biblical discipleship begins to come clear. When a brother is down, it is our responsibility to come along side and encourage. When a brother or sister falls, if we have a discipleship friendship, the other is there to pick them up. If we fall alone, who will pick us up? Anyone can fall. In fact, the scripture warns us that those who think they stand should beware or else they will fall (1 Corinthians 10:12). Charles Templeton was once an evangelist and the friend of Billy Graham. He is now a self-proclaiming atheist. I don’t know the circumstances around his fall or who tried to help him, but this serves as an example that even the ‘spiritual giants’ are not any less vulnerable than the rest of us.

We can’t prevent people from making bad choices. We have no control over someone’s life and when we try to shape someone, we are entering into God’s territory. God has called us to be disciplers, not creators. You can’t disciple someone if you are not a disciple yourself. Jesus said in John 13: 35, "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." You never quit being a disciple. Your love for your brothers and sisters is evidence of your love for Christ. You can’t love God and be a disciple of Christ and neglect His command to love each other. At the center of that love is discipleship. 1 John 3:10 puts it this way, “In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother.”

What does it mean to love my brother? First we have to look at love. Whenever the Bible commands us to love, it is always Agape – self-giving, self-sacrificing, outward love. Love that is not based on receiving, but on giving without requiring a return. We don’t reach out because we feel comfortable, but because we love the children of God that are our brothers and sisters in Christ. Can I say that I love God and never have love for His people? The Bible says no. 1 John 4 asks us, “How can we say we love God, who we cannot see and not love His children that we have seen?”

Most people fear getting involved because they don’t know where to start. Proverbs 18:24 tells us, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” I have found that to be true. When we open up to someone else, they will usually open up to us. Discipleship is really a partnership. The best discipleship is a mutual friendship and mutual respect. People do not respond to someone who tries to come into their lives as a mentor. Few people are in a position to successfully establish the Paul/Timothy relationship. People will respond to a pastor or someone they think of as a spiritually experienced elder. But even that can’t replace the friendship/partnership way of discipling.

Several years ago, I met a couple in church and we seemed to have a lot in common so I invited them over. The husband had a real heart for discipleship but his approach was hard to take. We stepped outside to chat and for the next two hours he tried to disciple me. I can’t even remember what he talked about because all I could think about was ‘Is this ever going to end?’ I wasn’t looking for a master student relationship. I was looking for a friend. I could not wait for that night to end and that relationship faded away. Even though his intentions were good, he made zero impact in my life. Even though I was struggling spiritually at the time, I needed a relationship more than a lecture, or a "I am above you spiritually, so listen to me".

When I meet men or women for discipleship, it is not a mentorship, it is a friendship. I learn from them and hope they learn from me. Just starting a Christ-centered friendship can be like laying a fire on dry wood that causes our desire for Christ to ignite. I love to discuss the Bible and I really enjoy being around others who enjoy the same. However, I don’t place anyone below me. We each stand on the same ground at the same level. Even if we are not at the same place spiritually, we can still be eye-to-eye in our friendship. Only in friendship can the walls come down and will we allow ourselves to have the vulnerability to share our real needs. This is a hard concept to get across. When someone comes to Christ, people try to disciple them as a leader instead of as a friend. A person is much more open to share struggles and ask questions to a friend than with someone on a pedestal. It is this misconception of mentorship that makes people cower at the idea of discipleship. Christians believe that they have to achieve a certain level before they are ready to disciple. But that is not scriptural. Mentorship is not the same as discipleship, though it is a part of the discipling process. Mentorship is what Paul did with Timothy. He recognized Timothy’s calling and spiritual gifts and Paul mentored Timothy to be his replacement so he could give the ministry away. The mentorship principle of discipleship comes long after God has used relational discipleship to produced fruit.

Relationship discipleship is the heart blood of the church. Jesus commanded it. Jesus lived it as our example. Why did everyone – including the vilest sinner feel like they could approach Jesus? It was because Jesus humbled Himself. He met their need for acceptance and worth first and out of that relationship repentance was born. The Bible says, “it is the goodness of God that leads you to repentance”. Jesus welcomed sinners but His life and message changed their lives. He welcomed sinners, but He didn’t allow them to remain sinners. They either became disciples or adversaries.

Our lives should be welcome mats. Though we can’t change anyone’s life, our life can reflect God’s grace, which does change lives. Just by simply establishing friendships and getting on the same level as each other, we can become disciples and disciplers. Paul taught this very principle. He said, to the Jew, I became a Jew. To the Greek I became Greek. To the weak I became weak and to the strong I became strong. I became all things to all people. He compromised the delivery without compromising the message. Discipleship and lifestyle evangelism are not much different. We get into people’s lives for the sake of loving them and becoming instruments of God’s grace. Our focus is on Christ, not on how to disciple.

I have seen men in ministry who have a real servant’s heart. I have always called them the backbone of so many efforts. So many of them have accepted Christ shortly after getting out of prison or even while still in prison. Some were even called into the ministry. Today some of those men are in prison again. One man while on the job, he was befriended by two guys who were still using drugs. He dropped out of church and disappeared from the ministry. He got deeper and deeper into trouble until he found himself back into his old ways and the same consequences. We can see that relationships work both ways. The world has no problem reaching out to the church to draw members away. We shouldn’t have any trouble reaching our own members and reaching the world.

We have to first make the paradigm shift. Basic discipleship means Christian fellowship. That fellowship must extend outside the structured programs of the church. True Christian fellowship should produce friendship, accountability, and praying together. Spiritual maturity levels mean very little, but interest level means a lot. I believe the first step the local church should make is establishing a way to link partners and following up so that this vital discipleship does not fade away. We all have time for one church friendship. If we don’t, that is a symptom of a deeper problem that also needs to be addressed.

2. Teaching
The next step in discipleship is teaching. The relationship side of discipleship gets off target because we have been taught that these two go together. The relationship may produce opportunities to share and teach each other, but the focus isn’t to teach. In most churches, there are ample opportunities to teach and have Bible studies. Teaching is equally as important as relationships. The biggest failure in teaching discipleship is that the teachers often do not have adequate preparation. Some people are very good at spontaneous teaching without notes or outlines. I am not. Even those who are unstructured in their teaching style must take time to study and be preparation in order to be effective.

I once had a Sunday school teacher who never studied and believed it was unnecessary. He would open the Bible and say, “Lets see where God leads us”. That might have been ok if he understood what he was reading, but he had nothing to offer. I always left confused and unfed. He believed (and I have heard this said many times) that we are to take no thought for what we will say, for the Spirit will reveal it when we need it. That is quite a bit out of context. This idea is a misinterpretation of Matthew 10:18-20. If you read that statement in context, Jesus was warning His disciples that when He was gone, they would suffer great persecution. He followed this warning by saying not to worry about what you will say when you are brought before governors and kings, for your Heavenly Father will speak through you by the Holy Spirit. That passage is not saying that we will miraculously know scripture that we haven’t studied when we stand before a class. Albeit would be a great thing, but not so.

The Bible teaches quite the opposite. Proverbs 16:1 says, “The preparations of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.” Time to study is the responsibility of a teacher. We are to prepare our heart by conforming to Christ and knowing the word. (This is what I am working on presently, preparation ,reading daily, prayer, and fasting). Understanding the message will come from God. It is a serious matter to teach or to preach. The book of James warns us not to seek to be a teacher for we shall receive a stricter judgment. Teaching is a calling of God; we don’t determine that by our own purposes. It is a serious matter because if we teach error, we affect many people and lead others toward or away from God’s purpose. God has given us various gifts and different styles. How we teach should match the gifts and talents God has given us, and study prepares our heart for the task.

One thing about teaching that I believe to be important, our goal is not to teach people what to think, but how to think. Our calling is to point people to Christ and encourage them to have a personal relationship with Him. Many times we teach tradition as though it were scripture. Many teachers mistake dogma as boldness. To boldly stand on God’s word does not mean I stab my flag on top of the hill and criticize those who don’t agree with everything I say. We should welcome criticism if it is productive. The Apostle Paul praised the Bereans for listening to his teaching, but questioning it against the scripture. If I am not confident that I am rightly dividing the word of truth, then I will fear and react harshly to criticism. The Bible tells us to be ready for criticism. 1 Peter 3:15

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear.

Notice the key phrases here: be ready; give a defense; asks a reason; hope in you; meekness; fear. We are to be ready for the question. That does not mean that we know all the answers, but if we are teaching something, we must have a scriptural basis for our belief. Not only using a passage, but understanding how it fits into the whole word of God. You can teach almost anything if you take it out of context or remove it from the setting for which it was intended. Meekness and fear are often pushed aside when we have a passion to persuade someone to our point of view. We should not make ourselves into martyrs, nor are we condemning those who question us. On the non-essentials, sometimes we may agree to disagree. I have seen people attack others when their doctrine was questioned. The Bible praises those who question doctrine and commands teachers to prepare to give an answer when we are questioned. A teacher who gets into the ‘boss mode’ is missing the purpose of teaching and shows a need for spiritual maturity.

We should not teach people only what doctrine to believe, but how to think for and study for themselves. People should be encouraged to compare and question. Otherwise, if someone comes along with a compelling argument, people who lack the ability to critically examine the word will be led astray. Today we see this as a growing problem. People will take anything fed to them if it is presented with charisma and a claim of authority. The word of God holds authority over any teacher, preacher or self-proclaimed prophet. Anyone who teaches anything contrary to the scripture is in error. Paul put it in a very stern warning:

Galatians 1
8 But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed.
9 As we have said before, so now I say again, if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than what you have received, let him be accursed.

The Bible couldn’t make it any clearer. Even if the apostles that God revealed the holy scriptures to would be cursed by God if they should deliver another gospel contrary to what has been delivered. The word translated into ‘cursed’ is the Greek word ‘anathema’. Literally translated this word means “cursed by God without hope of being redeemed; appointed to destruction; doomed.”

Those under this curse of God will do anything to prevent scripture from revealing the truth of their false doctrines. Cults keep people in bondage by fear and threatening people to damnation. There has even been TV Evangelists proclaim a “curse on any man or woman that dares to speak anything” against his ministry or doctrine. However, the scripture clearly tells us to love our enemies, be ready to give an answer and to bless and not to curse our adversary. This often repeated curse is in direct violation of the teachings of Jesus and the apostles. That alone should make people question many teachers.

It is because of this failure to fulfill Jesus’ command of discipleship that crowds flock to the very teaching the scripture warns us over and over to keep watch for and stand against. It is not enough to teach people the scripture, we must teach people to think and examine scripture and all doctrine in light of scripture. To teach knowledge without understanding is no better than ignorance, or throwing a person onto a busy highway driving blind. That is why I believe it is so important to present the scripture as a whole. God has painted a picture of understanding that we will miss if we hover only around our favorite verses. The teaching principle of discipleship should be to impart critical thinking skills along with knowledge and understanding. 1 John 2:27 says, “But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, and is true, and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you will abide in Him.”

Is this saying there is no need for teaching? Of course not. Otherwise we would not see the commands to teach and preach the word. If you look at the passage in context, it is discernment for truth and abiding in Him. We all have the Spirit of God within us. If we abide in Him, He teaches us. It is true that we don’t need someone to intermediate between us and the scriptures, but we also benefit from those who are gifted in teaching. Part of teaching is pointing people to this principle of discerning all things according to the scripture and by the power of the Holy Spirit. We who are in Christ, have the Holy Spirit within us and we are commanded to study scripture and find out what is true and what is a lie. You can’t teach discernment in the classroom. You can only use teaching or discipleship training to encourage others to pursue an abiding relationship with Christ and use His word to measure truth.

3. Mentorship for Service
This is where the ‘Timothy Principle’ comes in. My ministry, discipleship, or calling is not what I do, but who I can equip, myself included. I can only teach a handful of people in my lifetime. But if I equip others to go out and do, then it truly becomes God’s ministry. Ronald Reagan had a plaque on his desk that said, “There is no limit to what you can accomplish when you don’t care who gets the credit”. That should be the motto of the church. This idea was taught in scripture long before it ever hit a plaque. Jesus taught that our works should not be broadcast. If we get the praise of men, we already have our reward, but if God sees our deeds in secret, He will reward us openly. I would much rather have God’s reward than credit from man.

The ultimate goal of mentor discipleship is to give our ministry legacy away after we retire, or leave this earth. We see leaders jealously guard their position (any position) because they forget that it doesn’t belong to them, but has been entrusted to them by God for His glory. If God exalts someone over me or raises up someone who takes my place one day, that is His will. If I fight against God, what value does my position hold outside of God’s plan? How do I know that God isn’t raising up someone because he has bigger plans for me? Even if God doesn’t, the greater benefit is not the position I hold, but the fruit God produces through my life for His eternal purposes. What could be greater than to be chosen by God to touch someone’s life that will go where you cannot go and do what you cannot do? Who led Billy Graham to Christ? Consider this chain of God’s providential events:

A layman by the name of Edward Kimball led Dwight L. Moody to Christ. Dwight went on to be one of the greatest preachers of modern history. It was D.L. Moody that impacted F.B. Meyer and Meyer touched Wilbur Chapman. Chapman partnered with Billy Sunday and Billy Sunday had a major impact on Mordacai Ham. Mordacai Ham felt like a failure in his ministry and decided to quit. He felt burdened to do one more revival circuit. A sixteen year old boy with little interest in the revival was persuaded to go on one of the last days. That boy was named Billy Graham.

How many people would know who Mordacai Ham is? For that matter, how many people have ever heard of Edward Kimball? Did God use Edward Kimball to reach the masses? I guess it depends on how you look at it. God produced the fruit of his obedient labor. Edward Kimball is as much of an heir to the fruit God produced as D.L. Moody and Billy Graham are. God is not interested in what you can do. God is interested in your obedience and faithfulness. How effective would Paul have been if he continued to be the leader of every church he founded? The entire world has benefited from the fact that the Apostle Paul did not care about being in charge. He cared about spreading the gospel and equipping others to take over the churches he founded. That is mentorship. It is not what "I" can do, but being faithful to pass on the vision God has given me. The results belong to God, but the obedience belongs to me. Mentorship doesn’t begin until after the relationship has been established. Even if someone is ready to be mentored, the relationship is still the foundation that mentorship must be built on. As God raises up leaders, mentorship is born. We don’t seek people to mentor; God calls future leaders and brings others into the vision that God has given. More times than not, mentorship is sought by the one being ‘mentored’ and not by the ‘mentor’ himself.

As we follow Christ and are faithful to the vision God has given, God will bring others into our life. Mentorship may be as simple as teaching others how to fit into support for a ministry or as detailed as training those who will be the leaders that God will call us to give charge over our ministry. Leadership is taking ownership of the ministry or calling God has given you, whether it be prison, children, hospital, missions or simply working in the nursery or simply greeting the congregation at the doors as they enter etc. That is true for personal or for organizational ministry. I am taking my ministry and calling, nurturing it and developing it, everyday praying for God's guidance and direction. I will reach out to others who show the same desires and I will mentor them to either take the ministry or go out and replant the ministry. God decides which direction we should take. A mentor is not the boss, but the servant. That has always been Jesus’ model of leadership. With a servants heart we lift others higher than ourselves and toward God’s call. Unfortunately, human nature teaches us to climb over others and use them as steps to accomplish our goals. Spiritual leadership is always to lift others above ourselves and to serve others as though we are serving God. When leadership becomes status, we are no longer in the spiritual domain, but the worldly domain.

When we are going where God is going, He will send us people with the same heart, vision and principles. If the first two principles of discipleship have not been established (relationship and teaching), new leadership will not have the maturity to handle the vision. Leaders will be intimidated by rising leaders and envy and jealousy will follow. I have seen pastors try to destroy people that God has sent. Instead of a ‘God-sized’ ministry, the ministry struggles and begins to fall apart. I believe that God is patient and always gives us the opportunity to repent, but God will abandon a ministry that loses its Christ-centered focus. Apparently God is more willing to allow embarrassment to the church than tolerance to hypocrisy. This is such a sad outcome of what could of been such a tremendous blessing to so many lives.

When I talk of taking ownership, I do not mean possessiveness. I mean that I take what God has entrusted to me and am faithful until He calls me to release it to those He has sent and equipped to take over where I left off, so that he may use me where ever else he sees fit. I don’t drop ministry, my calling or where God has put me "NOW' and let it die, but through prayer, and the three principles of discipleship, I can give it away as God leads other faithful leaders to me, so that I can move on to other plans he has made for me. We all start off as babies, and grow and mature into new areas of ministry as God sees fit, we all start off doing what seems to be small acts of service, and as we develop in our walk with God we go on to doing much larger acts of service, however ANY act of service with Christ-centered focus is no less than the other in his eyes. A pastor may not be able to give his pastorate away, but he can faithfully equip others and pass on his God-given vision. A pastor can equip and give most positions in the church away if he is equipping others as God has commanded.

31 FLAVORS OF CHARACTER

As reality TV shows cram the airwaves, one can’t help but notice the superficiality of our American dating process. For example, Jake, the fake millionaire, must choose a mate from a lineup of 25 beautiful women. Or, Tristan, the gorgeous blonde, tries to find a husband by sharing a hot-tub with a string of cute hunks. Notice how your average guy or plain girl never appears on these programs. Not surprisingly, most of these TV relationships experience the painful “reality” of a breakup.

In addition, the boom of online dating services hasn’t improved the decision-making process for singles. Go online, and you can find someone with brunette hair who likes sushi and long walks in the rain. However, notice that these companies cannot guarantee that you will find a person with character. No matter what a dating service claims, they can’t verify the integrity of anyone in their database. Yet, without this key ingredient, couples cannot build lasting intimacy.

A person has character when he or she chooses to love you – even if there is no immediate benefit. Unfortunately, people do not wear signs around their necks informing you that they possess honesty, loyalty, or compassion. Therefore, it is your job to determine the virtue of the person whom you date. You cannot assume or take someone else’s word on the matter. You must draw your own conclusions. But, how do you discern character in a person whom you’re just getting to know? The answer lies in observing whether someone looks out for the needs of others, rather than concentrating on himself or herself. In other words, is he or she willing to love sacrificially?

For instance, review the list of 31 Character Questions at the end of this blog, and if you are seriously dating someone, these are the types of issues you must consider. Take the time to ask your date each one of these questions, because character can have many flavors, but it always stems from the sweet desire to love sacrificially.

The willingness of a person to sacrifice sheds light on their level of character. And, as you examine someone, don’t forget to ask yourself, “Do I consider the needs of others, or do I usually look out for #1?” Sometimes, integrity may even include telling someone “no,” such as when you are tempted to go too far sexually, drink alcohol, waste money, or spend too much time together.

However, if we are honest with ourselves, we must confess that a problem exists when we try to love sacrificially—we cannot consistently do it. All of us possess some measure of loyalty, mercy, and self-control. Yet, as conflict, disappointment, or the routine of daily life affect our relationships, the desire to care for another person tends to disappear. If we are called on to sacrifice, we usually expect something in return or wait until the sacrifice feels convenient.

Sacrificial love, however, is not about convenience or getting something in return. A romantic relationship is supposed to represent the way Christ gave Himself up for us. ²²Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. ²⁵Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰for we are members of his body. ³¹"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."³²This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.(Ephesians 5:22-33)

Yet, if you and I cannot consistently love in this manner, what hope do our relationships have of experiencing lasting intimacy?

Jesus Christ presents hope by offering to live His sacrificial love through you. ²⁰I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20). He displayed the ultimate act of character by dying innocently upon a cross. Through His resurrection, Jesus can now live His integrity through your life. By His power, you can extend sacrificial love to another person—even when you do not feel like it. No fancy prayers are necessary; you simply invite Him by faith to live through you. By His grace, He will take over and impart His character through your circumstances. ¹¹For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. ¹²It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, (Titus 2:11-12).

Too often, though, our human pride attempts to water down the definition of sacrifice to make it easier for us to attain. For instance, we might define sacrificial love as a man paying big money to take his girlfriend to a sold-out concert. That’s a nice gesture, but Christ might define sacrifice as that man paying big money for concert tickets, only to skip the show upon discovering his girlfriend is drained from a terrible day at work. His focus is to support and encourage her, which might also mean not turning on the TV while she is talking, or taking over the conversation in mid-sentence to talk about himself. To a human, those actions may sound unreasonable. When you yield to Christ, however, He can give you the desire to change your plans, sit patiently with someone, and listen to their problems, even if you do not see their problem as a problem. You may feel like offering a solution to their problem is the best thing, however, in most instances, the other person just wants you to "Listen". That act of sacrifice to be quiet and just listen in completeness often fills their needs tremendously, and proves character and sacrificial love in their eyes.

True love means laying down your wishes to profit another person. Your spiritual union with Christ makes this kind of behavior possible. You can try to love in your own strength, but you will eventually burn out. Until you ask Jesus to live His sacrificial love through you, loving another person will always be a struggle. That’s why it’s important to learn to rely upon Christ as your source of character. Likewise, it’s imperative to discover if the person whom you date has learned to depend upon Christ as his or her source of integrity.

As you discern someone’s character, take your time, and do not expect perfection. Everyone makes mistakes, slacks off, and acts selfishly on occasion. Be very careful, however, if a person’s integrity appears erratic. Honesty, humility, and forgiveness should be normal traits, rather than rare. You want to date someone whose virtue is consistent. This does not mean that integrity should be boring or predictable. On the contrary, dating someone with good character should free you to have a blast together. So, sweeten your romantic relationship by making sure it is flavored with sacrificial love!

Fully discuss each of these 31 questions before you consider engagement to someone. (Remember to develop rapport first before talking about these intimate issues.)

Spiritual character
1. Who is Jesus Christ to you? Do you live for him, is he first in your life?
2. When and how did you become a Christian? What are your plans for the future in your walk with Christ.
3. What is your spiritual gift? What do you believe?
4. Are you involved in a local church or Bible study? How much time do you commit to your faith?

Financial character
5. Do you have any debt? If so, how much?
6. If you have debt, how long will it take you to get rid of it? How is your credit?
7. Do you have a stable employment history? How many jobs have you held in the last ten years? Why did you leave those jobs?
8. How much do you have in a savings account? Retirement account? Do you have Life, health insurance?
9. Do you consistently give money to the church or to the less fortunate? Do you volunteer your time to the church or organizations to help the less fortunate?

Dating character
10. Tell me about your past dating relationships. Long term, short term? Are you still friends?
11. Are you still involved in any other relationships? How long since your last relationship?
12. Have you ever been engaged? If yes, why was it called off?
13. Have you been divorced? If yes, why did your marriage fail? Are children involved?

Sexual character
14. Are you comfortable waiting for sex until marriage? If no, why not?
15. Have you ever had sex? If yes, how recently?
16. Are you carrying any sexually transmitted diseases? Are you opposed to being tested and sharing your results?
17. Have you ever struggled with homosexuality? If so, please explain.
18. Have you ever had an abortion? If so, please explain.

General character
19. What difficult circumstances have you endured? How did you get through them?
20. What makes you passionate in life? What drives you day to day?
21. Have you ever broken the law? If yes, what law and what was your punishment? What sort of criminal history do you have if any?
22. In what ways are you involved in helping others?

Friends & family
23. Who are your friends? Do you hang out often? Do you go to bars and drink alcohol with them?
24. Do you get along well with your family? Why or why not?
25. Is your family excited about our relationship? If no, why not?
26. What are your views about the roles of a husband and wife?
27. Do you want to have children if you get married? How many? How soon?

Addictions
28. Are you addicted to alcohol, substances, pornography, or anything else? If yes, how long since your last partaking?
29. Have you ever smoked, used drugs, or struggled with an eating disorder? If yes, when was the last time you used?
30. Do you have family members who wrestle with addictions? If yes, who and what?
31. Do you gamble or play the lottery? If yes, how often and how much do you spend on gambling?

CONSCIENCE: THE VOICE OF GOD WITHIN

In the mid 1950’s near Ashville, NC, an adult male walked into the police station and openly confessed to a murder he had committed 13 years earlier. He gave the deceased person’s name and related to the authorities how he had murdered this person by shooting him in the back of the head with an arrow. The police reviewed his story from their files and found that the local coroner had ruled the deceased man’s death to be from natural causes. However, when they dug up the dead man’s remains, they found a hole in the base of his skull made by an arrow. The murderer was brought to justice, not by the police, but by his own conscience. Just what is this powerful voice that God has placed within man? The word conscience comes from the Latin conscire, a compound of con (with) and scire (to know), meaning “to know together with,” “joint knowledge with another.” Thus conscience is the faculty of man’s knowing right and wrong in connection with laws made known to her, which for us Christians is the Word of God, written upon our hearts by the Spirit of God at our new birth (Heb. 8:10-11) and implemented by God-called preachers and teachers, and our personal devotions. The Old Testament does not have the word “conscience,” but the word “heart” expresses the idea. After Adam and Eve sinned, conscience give them a sense of guilt so that “they hid themselves from the presence of the LORD” (Gen. 3:8). Scripture declares, “David’s heart troubled him” (2 Sam. 24:10), and surely a troubled heart was behind David’s broken confessions in Psalms 32:1-5 and 51:1-19.

Conscience is innate, implanted by the breath of God that gave man his God-like personality (Gen. 2:7), spiritual understanding (Job 32:8), and conscience (Prov. 20:27). Romans 2:14-15 declares it is both innate and universal: “For when the Gentiles who do not have the Law do instinctively the things of the Law, these, not having the Law, are a law to themselves, in that they show the work of the Law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness, and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them.” Conscience works in exactly the same manner in Christians.

The Working of Conscience

At the Children’s Hospital seven-year-old Jimmy was a constant troublemaker. One day a weekly visitor who knew him well said to him, “Jimmy, if you are a good boy for a week, I will give you a quarter when I come back.” A week later she again stood by Jimmy’s bed and said, "Jimmy, I am not going to ask the nurse how you have behaved. You must tell me yourself. Do you deserve to have the quarter?” There was a moment’s silence. Then from under the sheets came a small voice saying, “Gimme a penny.” This illustrates that conscience speaks very clearly even in small children, and shows why God admonishes us to “train up a child [by instructing his spiritual understanding and In the New Testament, conscience (syneidesis) means essentially the same as the Latin conscire. conscience] in the way that he should go” (Prov. 22:6a). This proper training early brings lasting results: “Even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6b). Conscience has two moral functions: antecedent (before events happen it is a guide admonishing us to do the right and avoid the evil) and sequent (a judge after the act, either rewarding our obedience to God’s voice or judging our disobedience). The operation of conscience may be as follows: Before we act, conscience either encourages us to continue or warns us to stop. While our mind is still considering a course of action and before our will has made any decision to act, conscience either encourages us to go ahead or warns us of the danger of doing so. Often our mind will offer conscience logical, rational reasons why she should change her advice. However, she will never be convinced to compromise her convictions, but will uphold her viewpoint to the very end. While we are acting upon our decision, conscience quietly waits her turn to speak. Once a decision has been made, our mental faculties busily operate under varying degrees of emotional stimulation. The voice of conscience will keep quiet, waiting to act after the mind slows down and emotions subside. When the act is completed, conscience will speak, either to reward us or to condemn us. When our emotions and mental faculties relax after completing an action, conscience either crowns us with satisfaction, happiness and courage for what we have done or summons us to the bar of justice where she thunders judgment, which gives us a bad or guilty conscience. Conscience has no more respect for presidents than for paupers, for the elite than for the illiterate. She caused the bloody tyrant Nero to spend many terror-filled nights wandering the halls of his opulent palace. She also moved Socrates to patiently undergo an unjust trial and to receive his undeserved death sentence with fortitude. Like a decision rendered by the Supreme Court, conscience’s verdict, once pronounced, allows no alternative view. Even though she might judge according to an imperfect standard, which may be imperfectly obeyed by the will, she still gives an absolute judgment. For various reasons, conscience may not speak immediately following the completion of an act. Although conscience’s verdict is as absolute as that of the Supreme Court, yet her sentence can be suspended for a time, but not permanently. Once conscience has given her opinion, our will has a right either to accept or to reject it. If her voice is ignored repeatedly, she might retreat, but she will never give up. Whenever an opportunity presents itself, she will repeat her verdict of our past wickedness and condemn us once again. If she finds no opening to speak during our teenage years, she will try again in our youth, adulthood, or even our very old age. In the event we are able to muffle the voice of conscience throughout our entire earthly pilgrimage, she will triumph in the life beyond, as Romans 2:15-16 says, “Their conscience bearing witness, and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them, on the day when, according to my gospel, God will judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus.” The Need to Listen to Conscience Once a small boy saw a little spotted tortoise and lifted his hand intending to smash it with a rock. Suddenly, something checked his thrust and spoke to him as clearly as a human voice, saying, “That is wrong!” Not knowing where the voice came from, he went to inquire of his mother. Having heard his story, she wiped tears from her eyes with her apron, and holding him in her arms said, “Some call it conscience. I prefer to call it the voice of God in the soul of man. If you listen to it and obey, it will continue to speak clearer and clearer and always guide your steps aright; but if you turn a deaf ear and rebel against it, its voice will fade little by little and leave you in moral and spiritual darkness. The growth of your spiritual life depends upon your hearing and obeying this little voice.” To their great loss, many contemporary Christians ignore God’s voice in their conscience. They will listen to spiritual teaching and preaching every Lord’s Day, read devotional books daily, pay serious attention to brotherly advice and admonitions, but rarely give full ear to their conscience. Majority rule in the church, ethical instruction in Sunday School and dogmatic preaching in the pulpit have their place, but they cannot take the place of guidance by conscience which comes straight from the Throne of Grace. The Bible passage we read in the morning for devotions may not apply to today’s need. The sermon heard last Lord’s Day may not help us face this week’s trial. The voice of our regenerated conscience, God’s heavenly radio within, will always meet our needs precisely and guide our steps aright. Whenever anyone permits conscience to season his speech and deeds, she makes his words true and just, and his actions noble and right. Under her influence, in 1415 John Huss gave a glorious witness to the City Council of Constance and to Sigesmund, King of the Germans, and later Holy Roman Emperor, “To my conscience I cannot be untrue! To the truth of the gospel, I cannot be a traitor! I would rather suffer a mill stone to be tied around my neck and thus to be thrown to the bottom of the sea, than to deny my own conscience and my Lord and Master, Jesus Christ.” When Huss was bound to the stake, with straw and wood heaped up around his body to the chin, and flammable rosin sprinkled upon them, “The offer of life was reissued if he would recant. He refused and said, ‘I shall die with joy today in the faith of the gospel which I have preached’ . . . as the flames arose he sang twice, Christ, Thou Son of the living God, have mercy upon me.” In giving his famous speech before the Diet of Worms in 1521, Martin Luther, when asked to renounce God’s truth, said, “Unless I am refuted and convicted by testimonies of the Scriptures or by clear arguments . . . I am conquered by the Holy Scriptures quoted by me, and my conscience is bound in the Word of God: I can not and will not recent anything, since it is unsafe and dangerous to do anything against the conscience.”How beautiful a clean Christian conscience is. We believers should maintain a good conscience and live daily by it as did the apostle Paul who “looking intently at the council, said, ‘Brethren, I have lived my life with a perfectly good conscience before God up to this day” (Acts 23:1). By affirming allegiance to his conscience Paul maintained fidelity to his calling, and a few years later could say, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith” (2 Tim. 4:7).


Deadening the Voice of Conscience

Mr. Nathaniel Heywood, a Nonconformist minister, was resigning as minister to a particular congregation due to some doctrinal differences. A poor member came to him and said, “Ah! Mr. Heywood, we would gladly have you preach still in the Church.” “Yes,” he said, “and I would as gladly preach as you can desire it, if I could do it with a safe conscience.” “O! Sir,” replied the member, “many a man nowadays makes a great gash in his conscience; cannot you make a little nick in yours?” However, Mr. Heywood was convinced that “Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he does” (Rom. 14:22b). Conscience, as Solomon tells us, is the candle of God searching the very inside of man (Prov. 20:27). When a natural man, or a Christian, dethrones conscience by habitual disobedience, she does not abdicate her position. Whenever she gets a chance, she reasserts her claim. Even as a sinner wallows in vice like a swine in the mire, the voice of conscience frequently continues to convict of guilt and warn of judgment. Naturally, such a voice is an unpleasant interruption to the soul desiring the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the vainglory of life. In order to avoid the distress and self-accusation from conscience, man’s mental faculties instinctively seek to deaden her voice. At the beginning of the revolt, conscience fights vigorously for her throne in the soul, but after continually losing the battle, she gradually withdraws and leaves the soul in a state of unrest and confusion which may cause a nervous breakdown, or even worse, drive a person insane (“Now it came about on the next day that an evil spirit from God came mightily upon Saul, and he raved in the midst of the house . . . and a spear was in Saul’s hand. And Saul hurled the spear for he thought, ‘I will pin David to the wall’” 1 Sam. 18:10-11) or to commit suicide (“Then when Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that He had been condemned, he felt remorse . . . saying ‘I have sinned by betraying the innocent blood . . . and he went away and hanged himself” Matt. 27:3-5). Conscience caused Herod to turn pale, thinking Christ was a resurrected John the Baptist; Caius Caesar to suffer from lack of sleep; and Felix to tremble at Paul’s preaching. Moreover, repeated failure to heed the voice of conscience may cause physical illness. Years ago a Dr. held a series of meetings in a church. For several nights in succession, he noticed a family attend the services bringing one of their daughters, a girl about 18-20 years old, on a mat. The family placed her in the open area between the first row of pews and the pulpit where she would lie fully prone. When the Dr. inquired about the situation he was told that suddenly and quite mysteriously the young lady had become paralyzed, no longer able to walk or stand. After asking if he might talk to her, the
Dr. met privately with the girl. Following some discussion, she revealed that she absolutely hated her family. The Dr. reminded her that such an attitude is a terrible sin before God and should be immediately confessed in order to receive forgiveness and cleansing. When the young lady did so, a wonderful thing happened! She was able to sit up, then to stand, and walked out to meet her rejoicing siblings and parents. She had become physically ill because the law of Christian love that God had made known to her conscience was in dreadful conflict with her attitude and emotions. It cannot be overemphasized that whatever is unconfessed is beyond the reach of healing. You cannot confess to God what you will not admit to yourself. These painful consequences teach us to live up to the light that God has given to us in our conscience. “The torture of a bad conscience is the hell of a living soul!”

The schemes of the soul to deaden conscience may be a follows:

By abusing oneself with alcohol and drugs. Today some people drink for remedy and enjoyment, but most drunkards or drug abusers seek oblivion in order to hide from the normal function of their souls and thus deaden their conscience—“they drink and forget what is decreed, and pervert the right of all the afflicted” (Prov. 31:5). Some years ago, crusaders against alcoholism gathered in Istanbul and sadly concluded that, with a very few exceptions, most nations of the world were faced with increasing numbers of alcoholics in their population. In France and the United States during a thirteen-year period, alcoholic addiction had increased 44%. Drug addition, too, became increasingly prevalent. Can we not say that such a rapid increase in alcoholism and drug addition is due to mankind’s increasing unrest and anxiety?

By keeping oneself busy all the time.

Some people concentrate so much on their business day and night that their souls have no time to heed their conscience’s warnings. Believe it or not, some people dare not rest. They use “too busy” as a magic wand to silence all the echoes of God’s voice within. If they should ever pause and allow their stubborn will to relax its guard, conscience would slip out, make her survey in the different chambers of the soul and remind them of the events in their past and of the catalogue of their sins. The result of this would be thoughts whistling to fear, fear calling to horror, horror beckoning to despair, and saying, “Come, let us torment this sinner!” This may be one of the reasons why devils keep themselves busy since they have no other way to reduce their trembling. No wonder life in the last days is more rushed than ever before (“But as for you Daniel, conceal these words and seal up the book until the end of time; many will go back and forth . . .” Dan. 12:4).

By taking a logical instead of a moral stand.

Men have been seeking logical grounds to excuse themselves for doing evil ever since Adam and Eve were created. To do away with the summons of conscience man uses a variety of ruses to create a logical alibi: complaining about circumstances, placing the blame on other people, hiding behind a superiority or inferiority complex, or excusing self as unable to do any differently. Here are some manifestations of such ruses:

Moses’ self-pity (“Then Moses answered and said, ‘What if they will not believe me, or listen to what I say? For they may say, “The LORD has not appeared to you” . . . Please Lord, I have never been eloquent . . . for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue’” Ex. 4:1, 10) King Saul’s disobedience (“And Saul said, ‘They have brought them from the Amalekites for the people spared the best of the sheep and oxen, to sacrifice them to the LORD your God; but the rest we have utterly destroyed’” 1 Sam. 15:15) The Pharisee’s Corban (“Moses said honor your father and mother . . . but you say, ‘If a man says to his father or mother, anything of mine you might have been helped by is Corban, [that is to say, given to God],’ you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother; thus invalidating the word of God . . .’” Mark 7:10-13)

Denominational prejudice among churches and Christians’ indifference to the lost souls at home and abroad—all sprout from the same ground.

One who wants to puff up his denominational superiority or to avoid his share in missionary work may give hundreds of reasons to support his position, but morally, “Is Christ divided?” (1 Cor. 1:13) and “You shall be My witnesses” (Acts 1:8) destroy all these so-called logical reasons. Excuses keep us immature and underdeveloped in both our conscience and spiritual walk. Thus we remain “men of flesh . . . babes in Christ” instead of growing up to become “spiritual men,” as God desires (1 Cor. 3:1). By standing on good deeds. Using merit to bribe conscience is very common among moral or religious individuals. David’s desire to build God’s temple, one of Jesus’disciples asking leave to bury his father, monastic life in the Middle Ages, and even those famous robbers in ancient China who used the motto “Carrying out the decree of Heaven—taking from the rich to help the poor” were all attempts to do good to appease conscience. Protestant’s church membership, Roman Catholic’s rosary and confession before the priests, Hindus’ bathing in the Ganges, Muslims’ “Allah is God and Mohammed is his prophet,” Buddhists’ “Nah-mo-o-mi-do-fu,” have all been used as instruments to deaden the voice of conscience. By inventing cultic and heretical doctrines. From the very beginning man has disliked God’s authority and this is probably the reason for the development of many cults. In order to separate conscience from her authority—God, some people deny the existence of God, others idealize Jesus’ teaching concerning heaven and hell, and yet others simply ignore the reality of sin and the authority of the Bible. Mrs. Eddy’s “man is incapable of sin,” Spiritualists’ “man never had a fall,” Jehovah Witnesses’ “second chance for everlasting life in the Millennium,” Mormons’ “the necessity of Adam’s sin,” are all used for more or less the same purpose: to hush the voice of conscience. What a pity!

A seared conscience does not mean that the consciousness of sin is gone. On the contrary, there will ever be a certain fearful expectation of judgment unconsciously present in the mind until the sinner has found the truth of forgiveness: “If we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain terrifying expectation of judgment” (Heb. 10:26-27). This expectation of judgment causes those with a bad conscience to be “like the tossing sea, for it cannot be quiet, and its waters toss up refuse and mud. ‘There is no peace,’ says my God, ‘for the wicked’” (Is. 57:19-20).

The Unbeliever’s Conscience

Adam’s fall into sin did not deprive him of a conscience that is a part of man’s divine likeness. Rather, “To those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled” (Titus 1:15). “Defiled” is derived from a verb, “to stain,” “to color,” or “to tinge.” Every one has a conscience, even the rudest savages or headhunters, but the unbeliever’s conscience is covered with a stain and has become calloused and blind (Matt. 13:15; 2 Cor. 4:4). Even God’s heavenly light has a difficult time reaching it, until He “who said, ‘Light shall shine out of darkness’ . . . [shines] in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ” (1 Cor. 4:6). Conscience judges according to the law known to her. Since the
unbeliever’s conscience has been separated from God, her original authority, the natural man can judge things only according to his interest, habit, parental teaching, school education, social environment, or by the law that he feels in his own inherent moral consciousness. This explains why Paul’s wrongly instructed conscience was so stubborn and fanatical: “I thought to myself that I had to do many things hostile to the name of Jesus of Nazareth” (Acts 26:9. This also explains why some primitive tribes can regard their headhunters as great heroes. The unbelievers’ defiled conscience is not only the result of their sinful nature but also by failing to pay attention to conscience’s voice, “They, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality, for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness” (Eph. 4:19). Unbelievers, at their worst, not only ignore the voice of conscience, but positively hate and oppose every means which would recover sensitivity to sin, acting as did some of the kings of Israel to God’s prophets, the Jews to Christ, and the Communists to churches today. They are like those of whom Baxter writes, “They seem to go to hell as some condemned malefactors go to the gallows, who make themselves drunk before they go, to prevent themselves from knowing whither they are going till they get there.” What a sad picture!

Deadening the voice of conscience is a dangerous thing.

God warns us to be “[constantly] keeping [exon- present participle] faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and suffered shipwreck in regards to their faith” (1 Tim. 1:19). Since conscience is knowledge we share with another, that means we know right and wrong in relation to some standard or law. Whenever conscience gets a chance, she will immediately stand up for truth, even though her voice may have lost much of its strength and clarity. Once some boys were brought to the court in Ripley, Tennessee, accused of stealing three watermelons from a farmer’s patch. Judge J. R. Lewis rapped his gavel, saying, “Anybody here who never stole a single watermelon when he was a boy, let him raise his hand.” The sheriff, the county attorney, three highway patrolmen, court employees, and spectators all lowered their eyes. The case was dismissed. Jesus dismissed a similar case when he was on earth (See John 8:1-11). Likewise, no matter how ignorant and brutal the heathen are, their conscience can be awakened. If ever they have the opportunity to hear God’s Word and let the grace of awakening come upon them, their conscience will be awakened by God’s grace, cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ, and recovered just the same as any genuine Christian’s; but “how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard?” (Rom. 10:14). The natural man has lost the true knowledge of God’s will by sin’s defilement and the continual resistance of his own will, and his conscience is now confined in the strongholds (2 Cor. 10:4). Unbelievers are incapable of perceiving spiritual things. As Scripture says, the “natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God; for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised” (1 Cor. 2:14). The truth is, even though the words “God is love” were written in large letters in the sky, it would make little difference “to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind (nous) and their conscience is defiled” (1 Tim. 1:15). The unsaved can be very intellectual mentally, yet totally ignorant spiritually. Others may have a great deal of culture, yet they cannot understand God’s simple plan of salvation; while others with little or no education may have profound spiritual knowledge. Mankind’s spiritual understanding is an innate faculty entirely different from his intellectual capacity. No one can see a sunset with his ears, or hear a cricket chirp with his eyes. Likewise, man with his mental faculty alone cannot perceive God. It is necessary for God, through the operation of the Holy Spirit, to grant conscience the grace of awakening that she may be restored with the price paid by Christ on the cross. This divine grace always brings souls a period of distress as in, “when they heard this [that God has made Him both Lord and Christ—this Jesus whom you crucified], they were pierced to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, ‘Brethren, what shall we do?’” (Acts 2:36-37). Whereas the conscience condemns sinners according to their sinful state, the Holy Spirit presents to them the way of salvation accomplished by Christ on Calvary, even the cleansing power of Christ’s blood which cleanses the conscience from dead works (Heb.9:14). The unregenerate conscience says to the sinner, “All your righteousness is as filthy rags.” The Holy Spirit says, “Christ will cleanse you from all unrighteousness.”Conscience says, “Man himself should be responsible for his sins.” The Holy Spirit says, “God’s Lamb takes and bears away the sins of the world.” Conscience says, “You are not worthy to be saved.” The Holy Spirit says, “Jesus Christ promises that he who comes to Him will never be rejected.” God’s grace enables conscience’s voice to pronounce all the verdicts that she had previously suspended, makes the sinner’s will submit to truth, his intellect surrender to justice, and his sensibility to grief. The initial reaction of those to whom Peter preached at Pentecost must have been like that of Lazarus who was awakened from the dead by the power of God’s voice, but yet found himself bound with grave clothes and surrounded with the stench of decaying flesh. This is the state to which the Holy Spirit brings a sinner’s conscience, because “He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin, and righteousness, and judgment” (John 16:18). Awakened to their sin by the Spirit of God, they feel much like Isaiah when he said, “Woe is me, for I am ruined! I am a man of unclean lips” (Is. 6:5). Yet it is necessary for sinners to further seek God’s grace, as did the jailor in Philippi who asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” (Acts 16:30). The only remedy for man’s sinful condition is for Jesus to restore the function of this spiritual understanding. As the Bible says, “We know that the Son of God has come, and has given us understanding in order that we might know Him who is true” (1 John 5:20). Thus the first step in restoring the broken relationship between God and man is to restore the function of man’s spiritual understanding. Without such a restoration, man
has no way to know God. This is why the Old Testament prophets and the New Testament apostles, as well as Christ Himself, laid such great stress upon repentance. Repentance, Conscience and Spiritual Understanding In the New Testament repentance (metanoia) is a combination of two words: the preposition meta meaning “change or alter” as used in metamorphosis (change in shape), and the noun noia, a feminine form of the word nous, meaning “mind.” Biblical repentance is not merely sorrow for sin, but a change of spiritual insight toward God, sin, oneself and spiritual truths. Without the change wrought by repentance, no unbeliever will ever see himself as God sees him, neither will his conscience recognize sin to be sin. Pharoah, Balaam, Achan, Saul and Judas’ confession, “I have sinned” might be remorse but certainly not scriptural repentance, which is not produced by man’s resolve or effort. Repentance is God’s gift as the Bible explains in Acts 5:31, “He is the one whom God exalted to His right hand as a Prince and Savior, to grant repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sin.” It is the heart-opening granted by Christ, without which Lydia would not have listened intently to the gospel as preached by Paul and be saved—“Lydia . . . a worshipper of God, was listening; and the Lord opened her heart to respond to the things spoken by Paul”(Acts 16:14). For this reason Christ came not only to bear our sin, but also to give “us understanding, in order that we might know Him who is true” (1 John 5:20). At the moment of salvation, Christ restored the function of our spiritual understanding and put His laws into it, fulfilling Jeremiah’s prophecy, recorded in Hebrews 8:10, “I will put My laws into their mind, and I will write them upon their heart.” In this manner, Christ created within us “the law of [our] mind” (Rom. 7:23), which established our conscience according to God’s law—to convince us of sin committed, of righteousness impossible, of judgment impending, and thus led us to confess and forsake our sin, and to live in righteousness, which are evidences of genuine repentance.

When the demands of conscience for either condemnation or atonement are met and
satisfied by Christ’s substituted suffering, the sinner’s bad conscience turns into a good
one.

This is salvation in effect, and regeneration in truth. It is not merely lifting up one’s hand while others’ heads are bowed and eyes closed, nor just being baptized and received as a church member, but it is having a good conscience which proceeds from a real conversion, brought about by serious confession, and true faith in Christ, by which the forgiveness of sins is obtained and the renewal by the Holy Spirit unto a new life and walk is initiated. Strictly speaking, if the Gospel has not penetrated man’s conscience, that is, if he has not experienced the power of God in his moral exercises, he is still outside of Christ and is not saved, no matter how long he has been a church member. This is why the prophets and apostles in the Bible stressed the message of repentance so much. It is the spiritual labor of regeneration. Without such travail, spiritual miscarriage may take place, and the church may produce a member with a defiled conscience, having neither new birth nor spiritual life. In the spring of 372 AD, a 31-year-old professor, Augustine, was discussing with his friend, Alypius, how to find peace for their souls. Because much of his youthful life had been spent in sexual immorality and impiety, Augustine was extremely distressed because of constant condemnation from his conscience. He left Alypius and went into another part of the garden, lay under a tree and moaned as tears rolled down his cheeks in abundance. Suddenly, he heard a chorus of children’s voices saying, "Tolle, lege; tolle, lege [take and read, take and read]!” Augustine returned to his friend, picked up Paul’s Epistle to the Romans that he had left there a short while before, and opening it he read the first passage his eyes recognized. It said, “Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts” (Rom. 13:13-14). As he was reading this, the Lord opened his spiritual understanding, as he said later, “Every doubt was banished!” From that moment until his death, Augustine lived a noble, virtuous life for Christ. God’s grace performed for Augustine according to what Scripture promises, “Then He opened their minds [nous] to understand the Scriptures” (Luke 24:45) and “We know that the Son of God has come, and has given us understanding [dianoia—a renewed mind or nous], in order that we might know Him who is true” (1 John 5:20). By means of our enlightened spiritual understanding, we know God and the things pertaining to Him. Our regenerated spiritualunderstanding perceives God’s will in personal Bible reading, biblically-based sermons, and Sunday School edification, analyzes and interprets it, and makes it known to conscience, which discerns God’s will on moral and spiritual affairs according to the knowledge received. Spiritual understanding (nous) and conscience (metanoia) are two in one; whenever one is defiled, the other is polluted, “To those who are unbelieving . . . both their mind and conscience are defiled” (Titus 1:15). They are like the eyes and ears mentioned in Acts 28:26-27: Whenever the eyes are closed (spiritual understanding), the ears are dull (conscience); but whenever the eyes see, the ears hear. God put both within us at our birth, so that following our new creation they might work together as a team to make us God-like—even according to the image of Jesus Christ.