Vices and Virtues in Marriage - Faithfulness vs Adultery

Ephesians 5:21-31
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

We all have particular Character traits that make us who we are. These are the virtues and vices that we carry around in our heart and mind. The question is are we actually using our virtuous character traits to live our life with? Or are we allowing our vices to overwrite the virtues of who we are?

Are we awarding our marriage with the importance it deserves or are we behaving lazy by not contributing the positive aspects of our self into the marriage?

Mark 10:6-9
"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Ask your self. Who am I? What does my marriage mean to me? Am I done growing? Am I happy with me?

I don't think we ever stop growing spiritually or mentally. I believe we continue to learn and to grow until we pass on. The amount of spiritual and mental growth we accomplish is all up to what we believe in and what we do with those beliefs.

If a person doesn't place too much importance on their marriage they tend to base their marriage upon certain vices and indulgences to feed their ego.

Romans 12:10b
Honor one another above yourselves.

Ephesians 5:21-31
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

In other words, they haven't figured out yet, that happiness is up to them and what virtues they bring into their marriage not what vices they support the marriage with.

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Our potential in life is much greater than we allow it to be and we actually stunt the spiritual and mental growth process by way of our mind. Our mind becomes consumed to live on the physical realm of feelings to such an extent that we don't know we can also feel good on the spiritual level as well.

1 Cor 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

We concern our selves with what FEELS good physically, what tastes good to our taste buds, and what looks appealing to the eyes, and yet, what about the spiritual mind, and learning to live our life under the support of God's world?

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Let's explore the difference between virtues and vices.

In this blog we'll take a look at faithfulness vs. adultery

Faithfulness is a virtuous character trait. Not everyone can be faithful in his or her marriage. There are those who place less value and importance on who they are. Unfortunately the health and welfare of marriage is up to what a person brings into it, how they feel about self, and what they believe in.

Proverbs - Chapter 20:6
Many a man proclaims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?

Those people who are spiritually aware are those who use the potential within them and who ultimately have better marriages. The reason for this is they bring upright and moral character traits from self into the marriage. They make their marriage what it is, good or bad, by what foundation they use to base their marriage on.

Col 3:12-14
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

The world is a tempting place to all couples in marriage, and there are good-looking guys and gals everywhere that will tempt us to be with them sexually, I have often been heard quoting "There is always someone prettier or better looking than you"; and yet, not all married people commit adultery!

Proverbs - Chapter 5:20-21
Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?
For a man's ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths.

Matthew - Chapter 5:27-28
You have heard that it was said, "Do not commit adultery." But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

The difference between the adulterer and the faithful spouse goes back to the virtues and vices within them. The person who commits the act of adultery in flesh or mind (as it is the same in God's and most spouses eyes) has not grown out from self in a spiritual way but has stayed within the selfish aspect of who they are. Selfishness usually doesn't understand the commitment of marriage, respect, honesty and trust. It is too selfish to comprehend those virtues of character. Respect, honesty and trust can be defined in multiple ways, however Respect in a marriage is treating ones spouse with considerable care by your own actions as not to cause harm, hurt or pain to them whether it be the way you treat them, speak to them or carry on with others (eg: inappropriateness with others, flirtations with others, going out drinking, not calling causing worry) . Honesty in a marriage is not hiding behind false ideas, misleading, covering up actions, doing anything that ones spouse is not aware of especially if they would not approve or it would hinder the Honesty and Trust issue in the marriage. Trust in a marriage is keeping yourself only for ones spouse by body, touch, thoughts, words, and sexually, never allowing disrespect to occur or dishonesty to cloud the marriage. Without trust, marriages are often impossible to continue.

First Corinthians - Chapter 6:18-20
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?
You are not your own; You were bought at a price.
Therefore honor God with your body.

Selfishness and rebelliousness runs rampant in marriages, which is the root of most divorce in this society.

This is not to say that they cannot expand their horizons someday and grow out from self and learn to be of more virtuous character either. All I am saying is these people still need to grow spiritually and mentally. And then again, a number of people never decide to take the virtuous path and so end up living their life not knowing all they can accomplish for them selves and for those around them. This is called being spiritually stunted.

What makes a person succeed does not stem from what one does such as career, money and or power but by what one is, which is the virtuous character traits of that person. If they have expanded their spiritual paths by learning to live by virtues rather than vices and still be happy and content with themselves and life, they have succeeded.

Too many people misunderstand the meaning of success, thinking it has something to do with how much money one has or that their mortgage is paid off. Anyone can have those things with the right ambition but not everyone can have virtues of character.

Now on the opposite side of faithfulness we have adultery. So then what is the difference between the faithful spouse and the spouse who commits adultery? The faithful spouse does not live by physical but by virtues of character; which has been given to them through spiritual learning and growth.

1 Cor 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

In other words, virtue of character overwrites the sinful temptations of the world. They do not allow the temptation or desire to supersede over the virtuous mind within them, and the true God given love that is shared between two people God joined in the covenant of marriage.

The repeated adulterer(ess) doesn't place too much value upon who he is. It may seem to others that he does regard himself highly but really he is hiding behind a cloak of deceit, mostly to him self.

In a pea pod, life and what we make of it will always come back to the value of self. And if you have already read any of my blogs you know that I place high importance on fixing self FIRST. Only then can we get to the root of the problems and circumstances that surround our life.

In other words, until a person grows out from the selfish aspects of who they are, they will live in their weakness, feeling bitter, unhappy, and hopeless. To them their only hope is the pleasure they receive from their vices. But there is hope.

Once a person understands how to grow out from the negative and destructive vices of self, the sooner they can begin to use the potential within them. Which are his God given virtues of character.

Know and believe this, everyone has a spiritual aspect of self hidden away within him or her. God provides us with spiritual tools such as faith, self-control, patience, love, kindness, and peace to help us to grow out from the selfish aspects of self.

The question we might ask ourselves then is are we using our vices or virtues to live our life by? Am I happy with me? Because you will never be fully happy with anyone no matter how perfect they are and you will keep searching and searching for that perfect person when all along it was you that needed found. Only God can complete a person. One that occurs marriages shrive and prosper.

1 Cor 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Being responsible for ones own actions! We answer alone, God does not punish the innocent.

Galatians 6:2

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:5

For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

“For each one shall bear his own load”

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Note the apparent contradiction between verse two and verse five. Verse two says, “Bear one another’s burdens…” This verse says, “For each one shall bear his own load.” Whenever we have antithetical statements in close proximity to one another, it is obvious the author did not intend to contradict himself. We shouldn’t see a contradiction when there is none.

Verse two has to do with carrying someone else’s burden of another while verse five has to do with carrying a personal concern, a task no one can deal with except the person involved. Verse five confirms verse four. Each of us will bear personal responsibility at the judgment seat of Christ.

For each one shall bear his own load

The difference between “load” and “burden” (Galatians 6:2) is that “load” refers simply to something to be carried as personal responsibility while “burden” refers to weight (heavy). “Burden” is something that is burdensome.

The word “own” indicates personal responsibility. Certain things we can share with others, but personal issues must be addressed between God and us alone. We will stand before the judgment seat of Christ alone.

“But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it is written:

‘As I live, says the Lord,
Every knee shall bow to Me,
And every tongue shall confess to God.’

So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way” (Romans 14:10-13). Although many of our brothers do not except our resolve, or willingness to help and would rather blame and accuse us of wrongful accusations themselves as to hide their own shame and wrongdoings in the face of others.

In the military, each soldier must carry his own weapon. When a soldier falls in battle, his fellow soldiers must come to assist him. We must carry personal, moral responsibility alone.

The opposite of pride is not bogus self-abasement but authentic examination of ourselves in the light of God’s Word. Legalism uses overt and subjective tests, not real or genuine testing. God wants us to test our own work rather than contrast it with others less worthy.

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Principle:

Each believer is responsible for his own spiritual production. And their own actions.

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Application:

Where a spirit of censoriousness, malice and bitterness prevails, there is no application of the principle of grace to self. It will be too late to correct this attitude at the judgment seat of Christ. There, every tub will sit on its own bottom. You will have no one to blame but yourself. Each believer is responsible for his own spiritual production. We will not be able to blame others at the judgment seat of Christ.

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad [worthless]” (2 Corinthians 5:10).

It is crucial that we allow the Lord to harness us while we still have our health and opportunity to serve the Lord. We need to come out of our religious reclusion. This is a luxury that we cannot afford. Jesus will give us His report card one day. Some grades will be less than an “A.”

Allow God to make you a blessing to someone else. Have you tested yourself to ascertain whether you are a blessing rather than a curse to someone lately?

BE CAREFUL ABOUT BLAMING AND CURSING OTHERS IN LIGHT OF ONES OWN FAULTS, GOD DOES NOT PUNISH THE INNOCENT. WE ARE INFINITELY GOING TO PAY FOR OUR OWN SINS NO MATTER HOW MANY FINGERS WE POINT ON THIS EARTH.

Romans 12:19

'Vengeance IS mine sayeth the Lord'

The wrath of God is God’s settled anger toward sin expressed in the repayment of suitable vengeance on the guilty sinner.

And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire. ⁴⁵ And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into hell. ⁴⁷ And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell, ⁴⁸ where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.

So Jesus says in Matthew 13:41-42, “The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all law-breakers, ⁴² and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (see verse 49). Then he adds at least three more terrible images of God’s wrath besides fire.

1. He pictures it as a master returning and finding his servant disobeying his commands, and he “will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 24:51). The wrath of God is like cutting someone in pieces.
2. Then he pictures it as darkness: “The sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 8:12). The wrath of God is like being totally blind forever.
3. Finally he quotes Isaiah 66:24 and says “Their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched” (Mark 9:48). In Isaiah 66:24 God says, “And they shall go out and look on the dead bodies of the men who have rebelled against me. For their worm shall not die, their fire shall not be quenched, and they shall be an abhorrence to all flesh.”
   

The wrath of God will be "DESERVED"—totally just and right.

Paul labored to show this in the first part of this letter to the Romans. Let me remind you of how he said it: “The wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth” (Romans 1:18). Wrath does not come without warrant. It is deserved. The truth of God is known (Romans 1:19-20). And the truth is suppressed. And the fruit is ungodliness and unrighteousness. And on that comes wrath (Ephesians 5:6; Colossians 3:6).

He says it even more explicitly in Romans 2:5, “Because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed.” We are responsible. We are storing up wrath with every act of indifference to Christ. With every preference for anything over God. With every quiver of our affection for sin and every second of our dull affections for God.

Then he says it once more in Romans 3:5-6, “If our unrighteousness serves to show the righteousness of God, what shall we say? That God is unrighteous to inflict wrath on us? (I speak in a human way.) ⁶ By no means! For then how could God judge the world?” Nothing was clearer for the inspired apostle than that God is just and God will judge the world in terrible wrath.

And lest you think that your sins do not deserve this kind of wrath, ponder these four things:

1. It was one sin alone that brought the entire world under the judgment of God, and brought death upon all people (Genesis 2:17; Romans 5:12). And you have not committed one sin, but tens of thousands of sins.
2. Consider James 2:10, “For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it.” Not only have you sinned tens of thousands of times, but each one had in it the breaking of the entire law of God.
3. Consider Galatians 3:10, “For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, ‘Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law, and do them.’” The wrath of God’s curse falls on us for not obeying all that is commanded.(EVEN RIGHT DOWN TO "ALL TEN COMMANDMENTS") One failure and the curse falls.
4. Consider that any offense and any dishonor to an infinitely honorable and infinitely worthy God, is an infinite offense and an infinite dishonor. Therefore, an infinite punishment is deserved.

Which leaves one last point to make. And Oh, how crucial it is! How precious it is. How infinitely beautiful it is.

At the end of the age, when the full and final wrath of God is poured out, it will have been escapable.

That means it is escapable now. You do not have to spend eternity under the wrath of God if you will receive God’s Son as your Savior and Lord and Treasure. Why is that? How can that be? Because God so loved the world that he sent his own infinitely valuable Son to absorb the infinite wrath of God against all who take refuge in him. Listen with trembling wonder and gratitude and faith to this precious statement from Galatians 3:13, “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, 'Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree.'"

Christ bore the curse of God’s wrath for all who come to him and believe in him and glory in the shelter of his blood and righteousness. Come. Come. He is infinitely worthy.

WHY EASTER??

Jesus came to compensate
For all the wrongs we do.
He came to earth to die for us,
So we’d be born anew."This bitter cup, let it pass from me,"
He cried, in a plaintive voice;
"Yet not My will, but Thine be done;"
He said, in His faithful choice.The Judas kiss would seal his fate;
He faced a hostile crowd;
The governor, Pilate, saw through it all;
Jesus’ guilt he disavowed."I wash my hands of all of this,"
Said Pilate, "Let Him be."
But the crowd yelled "Crucify him now,
And set Barabbas free!"Pilate yielded to their wish;
And Jesus was led away.
The soldiers beat him, and mocked Him, too,
Yet He continued to obey.A crown of thorns lay on His head,
As His sentence was carried out;
His hands and feet were pierced with nails,
But He did not scream or shout."Father, forgive them for this crime;
They know not what they do."
He said this despite His torment, because,
He was thinking of me and you."It is finished," he sighed in His anguish and his pain,
As His body gave up to death.
The curtain tore, and darkness fell,
After He took His last breath.The best of the story is the very last part;
It’s why on Easter we’re filled with pleasure:
Death could not our Savior hold;
His power is beyond all measure.He rose from the grave, and was seen all around;
Ever since, He’s inspired devotion,
And we’ll be with Him for eternity,
When we get our heavenly promotion.That’s why Easter is a major event:
He suffered and died in our place.
He rose and forgave us and loves us still,
Our Savior of matchless grace.