Forged in the Fire.

Just as a hammer and high heat are used to forge instruments of iron, God uses trials to develop genuine faith and strength of character in us.
1 Peter 1:6-7
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

For the past 38 years, God has forged me in the fire of grief, loss and trials and I am better and stronger for it. I am grateful for what God has allowed in my life. Nothing grows you up quite as fast as grief, trials and suffering.
James 1:2-3 tells us that "the testing of [our] faith produces endurance. "A major change you undergo during grief is a tremendous strengthening of personal faith. It is very easy to trust when we have the answers; faith comes from trusting without the answers. If Abraham had been told he would not have to actually kill Isaac, it would have been very easy for him to tie his son to the altar. Perhaps the entire family would have made an all-day picnic out of it. Paul tells us that what was "credited to him as righteousness "was his trusting without the answers.
Faith that is not tested is worthless. Simply believing something is true does not make it so. I can firmly believe that I can fly, yet if I try to jump off a building, I will still end as a splatter on the sidewalk below no matter how firm my belief is . . . or at that point . . . was. Only through testing of our faith can we be assured that what we believe is true or discover that what we believe needs a few adjustments. Trials also shows us if our faith is in the right Person. Upon entering trials, many people already have a strong faith; unfortunately, it may not be in God. In an attempt to avoid a direct confrontation with God, many of us are tempted to just believe in our pastor’s faith, or our parents’ faith, or our wonderful church organizations. But if we try to place a faith that only the Messiah can fulfill on other people, they will always disappoint us. When these people fall or stumble, they will bring us down with them because our faith is placed in them.
Human beings fiercely covet their independence and freedom. Little children often insist on feeding themselves and tying their own shoes. They will not ask their parents for help until they are exasperated from hours of trying it themselves. When we first become Christians, there is a tendency to just say, "Thanks God!", collect our little certificate, and go on our way. We seldom come back to God unless we need something. Grief and trials invoke fear and brings us to our knees and forces us to meet God, face to face.
Grief and trials also brings us into contact with the humanity of Jesus Christ. Every Christians recognizes the "fully God" identity of Christ when we ask Him into our hearts, but many of us fail to see the "fully man" aspect. One of the least used names for Christ is Man of Sorrows. The term can often be very puzzling. In Gothic Church paintings, we can almost detect a smile on the face of Jesus as he hangs on the cross. When I first heard the crucifixion story, I envisioned Jesus singing and stopping to pick flowers along the road to Calvary. I now feel otherwise. When we are grieving, we do not want to hear a Biblical explanation of our grief, we often just want someone to listen. What greater listener could there be than the Man of Sorrows?

The most powerful impact of watching someone die or go through terrible sorrow or trials is that it firmly establishes what really matters. I now know that hanging out with the in-crowd or owning the latest Tommy Hilfiger shirt will not add anymore joy or one day to my life. In the wake of grief and trials earthly things hold no value. Happiness and fun just treat symptoms of grief like sorrow or depression, but they do not last; you always have to face reality later. Jesus Christ is all that matters. Circumstances or individuals can steal wealth, popularity, or happiness. Nothing can take us from the hand of God.

An old saying goes, "Men throw away broken things, but God will not use any man until he is broken." With grief comes a testimony that God will use in the lives of others. If a woman were to tell me about the pains of childbirth she had experienced, I could certainly tell her how sorry I was or how terrible that must feel; however, I could not really comfort her, having never experienced childbirth naturally myself personally, I had C-sections. When you submit to God and allow him to bring grief or suffering into your life, He grants you a very powerful testimony, one that gives hurting people a first-hand account of what the power of God can do in their lives.

The most profound irony in Christianity is this: the greatest joy can only be found through the greatest suffering. Grief builds our faith, draws us closer to God, and allows us to be used by Him. There is an old proverb, "God helps those who help themselves." This proverb is actually found no where in the Bible and is not even sound theology. There will be times when we cannot help ourselves; that is why we have a Savior. God does not ask us to find the strength and joy to endure suffering within ourselves. He is ready and willing to give these of Himself. All He asks us to do is keep fighting and don’t give up. Even in the times I did give up, God lifted me back to my feet. The sure-fire, 100% guaranteed way to endure grief and trials is to simply rely on the proven strength and faithfulness of Jesus Christ. Jesus puts it best in John 16:33, "In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."

This is but a trial, a season. Let not the spirit of fear overcome you. Stand fast in the Lord and put ALL faith in him.

I assure you, that when forged in the fire you WILL become stronger and better for it. God will never leave nor forsake you. He sees all things, and remember to put on the whole Armour of God. This is Spiritual warfare, not seen by the eyes of man. You have all the weapons at your disposal and the Holy Spirit to lead you. Fight this battle with the courage of David, and the patience of Job and the Trust in God of Abraham.

Misty Ford

TAKE UP YOUR BED AND WALK..... CLAIM YOUR HEALING.

John 5:1-15
5:1 A Man Healed at the Pool of Bethesda

After this there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 2 Now there
is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew, Bethesda, having
five porches. 3 In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed,
waiting for the moving of the water. 4 For an angel went down at a certain time into the
pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the
water, was made well of whatever disease he had. 5 Now a certain man was there who
had an infirmity thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he
already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, "Do you want to be made
well?"

7 The sick man answered Him, "Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the
water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me."

8 Jesus said to him, "Rise, take up your bed and walk." 9 And immediately the man
was made well, took up his bed, and walked.

And that day was the Sabbath. 10 The Jews therefore said to him who was cured, "It is
the Sabbath; it is not lawful for you to carry your bed."

11 He answered them, "He who made me well said to me, 'Take up your bed and walk.'"

12 Then they asked him, "Who is the Man who said to you, 'Take up your bed and
walk'?" 13 But the one who was healed did not know who it was, for Jesus had
withdrawn, a multitude being in that place. 14 Afterward Jesus found him in the temple,
and said to him, "See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come
upon you."

15 The man departed and told the Jews that it was Jesus who had made him well.
NKJV

Like many others, the impotent man had been waiting for a wonder to be
wrought, and a sign to be given. Wearily did he watch the pool, but no angel
came, or came not for him; yet, thinking it to be his only chance, he waited
still, and knew not that there was One near him whose word could heal him in
a moment. Many are in the same plight: they are waiting for some singular
emotion, remarkable impression, or celestial vision; they wait in vain and watch for naught. Even supposing that, in a few cases, remarkable signs are seen, yet
these are rare, and no man has a right to look for them in his own case; no man
especially who feels his impotency to avail himself of the moving of the water even if it
came. It is a very sad reflection that tens of thousands are now waiting in the use of
means, and ordinances, and vows, and resolutions, and have so waited time out of
mind, in vain, utterly in vain. Meanwhile these poor souls forget the present Savior,
who bids them look unto Him and be saved. He could heal them at once, but they prefer
to wait for an angel and a wonder. To trust Him is the sure way to every blessing, and
He is worthy of the most implicit confidence; but unbelief makes them prefer the cold
porches of Bethesda to the warm bosom of His love. O that the Lord may turn His eye
upon the multitudes who are in this case to-night; may He forgive the slights which they
put upon His divine power, and call them by that sweet constraining voice, to rise from
the bed of despair, and in the energy of faith take up their bed and walk. O Lord, hear
our prayer for all such at this calm hour of sunset, and ere the day breakout may they
look and live. Your healing is in the faith that you put upon the ONE who took the stripes upon his back so that you may be healed. Your healing is yours NOW... not wait upon the answers from the Doctors who tell you what you need to have a chance. It is not up to another man to take you to the healing waters. Its up to YOU. Your hope and faith is NOT in man, NOT in the idea that someone will take you to the water to be healed, or perform some life saving surgery, but to stand up and take up your bed and Walk!! To CLAIM your healing. NOTHING IS TOO GREAT FOR OUR GOD!!! You believe that and you fall on your face before him and claim your healing and stand on these scriptures and pray them out loud for his word is your Armour against all of Satan's attacks including infirmity! YOU ARE NOT SICK.. do not claim Satan's plan for you, but the plan God, and of God's love for you. Plans to prosper and not harm you. Say out loud with your mouth. "I am healed, I am not sick", every minute of the day. Believe it in your heart. No matter what man says, YOU claim that healing. Deny sickness and disease. Open your body, mind and soul to the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit. This prayer is written for you to use every day. I believe in the healing power of our Father. Take up YOUR BED AND WALK!!!

Heavenly Father,
We come into Your presence to love and adore You.
Thank You for Your love and Your desire for union with us.
We welcome all that You wish to do through
this healing prayer. We open ourselves to communication
with You and Jesus through the ministry of the Holy
Spirit. Come Holy Spirit, anoint us with healing so
deep it reaches back into our blood line; with
healing so wide it impacts our friends and relatives;
with healing so high it draws us into Your holiness.

Holy Spirit, come with Your fire. Our Father Which Art In Heaven---

Father God,
by Your grace I come to You with all that I am
and all that I ever hope to be.
I am Your child born of Your love.
Jesus brought me into Your presence.
You alone satisfy my soul.
You in me and I in You;
this is the path of healing for my soul.
By Your grace I come into Your presence
with simple, trusting assurance, certain
of Your love for me. In Your presence all
fear and insecurity melt away and deep hurts
become healing memories. In Your presence
I am strengthened and filled with hope. Father
in heaven, I breathe the breath of heaven
deep inside my spirit. Your heaven flows
through me. May the light of Your glory be
present with me throughout this day.
I love You Father.

Hallowed Be Thy Name---

Father,
I choose to live this one precious life in a
way that honors Your holy name. You call me
to worship, and I come. Oh Father, let all
that is within me cry holy. Let every wound
of my past dissolve in the light of Your
wonderful presence. Turn my weaknesses into
strengths, my failures into victories, my sorrows
into joy. Perfect all that concerns me as I
gaze upon Your holiness.

Thy Kingdom Come---

Father,
Your kingdom of love is in my heart.
It is not I who live but Christ who lives
in me. I am identified with my risen Lord
Jesus and Your kingdom is established in my
spirit. In coming to know Jesus, I am
discovering who I am, Precious Lord. Your
kingdom has come into my emotions,
and they are in a healthy balance.
Your kingdom has come into my mind,
and it is sanctified. Your kingdom
has come into my body, and I am becoming
healthy. Your kingdom rules my heart, and
I live a life of richness and depth. Your
kingdom has come into my mouth, and I speak
words that heal and liberate. Because Your
kingdom rules my life I am resilient and
filled with hope in all circumstances.

Thy Will Be Done---

Father in heaven,
unite my will with that of Your son.
Thank You for giving me a spirit of
submission, tender and open to the
Holy Spirit. In every circumstance I
commend myself to Your grace and choose
what is pleasing to You. Father,
I delight to do Your will. When I
lay my life before You and say "Thy
will be done," You receive it
as an act of worship. Wonderful Lord,
You have come tenderly into the deepest
struggles of my life and whispered, "Just
keep Your eyes on me. Trust me to take
care of You." You have come into my
broken heart and made it a place of worship.
You have drawn me to praise You when
everything in my world was in ashes.
You have called me to trust beyond all
reason. I lay my life upon the altar of
Your love and say with joy in my soul,
"Thy will be done." Jesus, I trust in You."

On Earth As It Is In Heaven---

Father,
my heart beats with Your heart.
For me, to live is Christ.
Thank You, Holy Spirit,
for bringing my life into harmony
with heaven. Thank You, Holy Spirit,
for teaching me how to walk with
Jesus in His resurrected life. Thank
You, that the attitudes of heaven
are my attitudes. I think Your
thoughts and walk in Your presence.
I carry the light of Heaven wherever I go.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread---

Father,
You have always taken care of me, and
You always will. You give me what
I need each day and prepare for my
tomorrow. My faith is growing. Thank
You for my daily joy that draws me
to worship when sadness comes. Thank
You for Your healing balm that soothes
the day's aches and pains. Thank
You for Your perfect love that soaks
away my fear. Your tender daily
care in every area of need draws me
to my knees in worship. Thank You
for walking with me day by day.
In our growing friendship You have
never failed me, ever. I love You,
Father. I love You, Jesus, Bread
of Heaven. I love You, Holy Spirit.

Forgive Us Our Debts---

Father,
thank You for Your gift of mercy in my life;
Your mercy that reaches my heart, because I have
forgiven those who hurt me. I confess my sins and
receive forgiveness. I am free from condemnation
and safely united to You. Your truth has made me free.
I love You Father.

As We Forgive Our Debtors---

Father,
by the grace of the cross I let go of
bitterness resentment and unforgiveness.
If there are hidden roots of unforgiveness,
thank You for shining Your light on them.
I entrust this area to You. Thank You, for
turning injury into compassion and hurts
into intercessions. Forgiveness brings
heaven to earth. I love You, Father---

And Lead Us Not Into Temptation---

Thank You, Father,
for keeping me on a path that leads to holiness.
With Your grace I see temptation when it comes,
and brush it off the path. Your love is stronger
than the urge to sin. Thank You for healing any
areas of my soul that might be vulnerable to temptation.
Jesus, You are my Shepherd and my hiding place. You
guide me to safe pastures. I am responsive to the
voice of the Holy Spirit who warns me of trouble ahead.
Thank You, Father. I Love You.

But Deliver Us From Evil---

Father,
Thank You for protecting me from every evil and for
bringing me a gift of peace. You have broken the chain
of oppression, delivered me from depression, anger, guilt,
and fear. At the name of Jesus every knee shall bow;
addictions, perversions, hopelessness, worthlessness,
loneliness and despair must bend their knee to the
name of Jesus. I cast down every argument and every
high thing in me that exalts itself against the
knowledge of God. I bring every thought into captivity
to the obedience of Christ. Thank You for giving me
the power over all the power of the enemy. Nothing
shall hurt me. You have given me a spirit of praise
and worship, which is my strength in the face of the
enemy. Thank You for Your armor, Your name, Your blood,
Your Spirit. No weapon formed against me shall prosper.
Thank You Father. I love You.

For Thine Is The Kingdom.. And The Power.. And The Glory Forever

Father,
every gift You have given me, every dream, every talent,
every possession, every resource and hope for the future,
I return to You with love. All is Yours.
May Your name be glorified, may Your kingdom come.
Take Lord, receive, All my liberty, My memory,
my understanding, my entire will. All that I have
and possess. You have given all to me; To You,
O' Lord, I return it. All is Yours. Dispose of it
wholly according to You will. Give me Your love
and Your grace, for this is sufficient for me. Amen!!

Be careful what you say about others, or Judge.

Is there anything more pleasant than discussing someone else's faults? Or assuming something about them and starting rumors? This shouldn't be so, especially for Christians, but it seems to be widely regarded as an acceptable form of entertainment. Is it any surprise that most TV sitcoms are built around people tearing each other down, either behind their backs or right to their face? It's terribly funny on TV -- not at all funny in real life, especially if you are the person being degraded.

The Bible has a lot to say about being judgmental. Jesus and the apostles understood clearly the human tendency to put down others. Among Christians, this even takes the form of questioning another's spiritual condition based on assumptions.

The LORD doesn't make decisions the way you do! People judge by outward appearance, what they assume they know, or by pure misunderstanding. but the LORD looks at a person's thoughts and intentions.

1 Samuel 16:7

"Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, `Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye, then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye."

Matthew 7:1-5

We have stopped evaluating others by what the world thinks about them. Once I mistakenly thought of Christ that way, as though he were merely a human being. How differently I think about him now! What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun!

2 Corinthians 5:16

Don't grumble about each other, my brothers and sisters, or God will judge you. For look! The great Judge is coming. He is standing at the door!

James 5:9

Don't speak evil against each other, my dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize each other and condemn each other, then you are criticizing and condemning God's law. But you are not a judge who can decide whether the law is right or wrong. Your job is to obey it. God alone, who made the law, can rightly judge among us. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to condemn your neighbor?

James 4:11-12

Whenever you speak, or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law of love, the law that set you free. For there will be no mercy for you if you have not been merciful to others. But if you have been merciful, then God's mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you.

James 2:12-13

To Love

Love is the highest form of maturity. It often requires a sacrificial gift. If love doesn't require some sort of sacrifice on our part, we probably don't love the other person at all. If there is no sacrifice in our actions, we are most likely reacting to something nice they did for us, or simply pretending to be kind to gain some control over them. Love is almost always undeserved by the person who receives it.

Our decisions should always have our spouse's interests in mind. Even a mediocre marriage requires sacrifice. It is important to understand that true love gives of itself.

Sacrifice means you are not going to have your way all the time. This means both the husband and wife are called to love each other with unconditional love. There has to be sacrifice of selfish desires if a couple is going to enjoy a triumphant marriage.

Loving and being loved are what make our lives worth living. Many people experience times in their lives when they feel unloved. During these times it's easy to dwell on those negative thoughts, but allowing it to continue leads to unhappiness and depression.

Love is the energy of life. It is what motivates people to get up each day and keep going. Love gives life purpose and meaning. Everywhere you look you see people searching for love…but they're looking in the wrong places. God is love, and they will never find what they're looking for until they find Him.

People look for fulfillment in life in different ways. These ways may seem good at first, but eventually the unsuccessful search will leave them feeling frustrated, disappointed and empty. The only way they can find the true fulfillment they are so desperately seeking is to choose to walk in love—to actually put love into action by reaching out and loving others.

As soon as I made a commitment to God, I began to hear people talk about the importance of loving others. Since I wanted to live my life according to the Bible, I wanted to walk in love, but I just couldn't. I had the urge…but no power to follow through. I always made elaborate plans but couldn't carry them out.

I began to understand that I could not love others because I had never received God's love for me. I knew in my head that the Bible said God loved me, but I didn't feel His love in my heart. I wondered how God could love us as imperfect as we are.

God loves us because He wants to—it pleases Him. God loves us because it's His nature to love, and He will always love us. He doesn't always love everything we do, but He does love us. God's love is unconditional. In fact, there's nothing we can do to ever escape His love. God's love is the power that forgives our sins, heals our emotional wounds, and mends our broken hearts.

Over time I came to realize that I am deeply loved by God simply for who I am, not because of any work I could do for Him. I could finally quit trying to earn His love by doing things I thought would make me more worthy of His love. I have found myself doing this same thing in relationships; I try to earn love by doing for others, but find out every time there is nothing I can DO to get them to love me, they either do or they don't by their actions. It doesn't change the fact that I can still love them unconditionally.

Once I began receiving God's awesome, unconditional love, I was able to start loving Him in return and reach out to others more freely in love. Because God's never-ending love was in me, I could give it to others without fear of ever running out.

Everyone in the world wants to be loved and accepted. And the love of God—that wonderful gift He freely gives us—should satisfy that need. His love flows to us, and then it should flow through us to other people.

Now I see myself as a container full of blessings. I want to be the type of person who can pour out God's love into the lives of the people around me. I've found that I'm always happier when I choose to make others happy. Yet, I have found that Some cannot be made happy, they lack the ability to accept love yet, or return it. So I just pray for them and keep loving them.

In the Bible, God calls Christians the salt of the earth (see Matthew 5:13). He expects us to "season" the lives of those around us. All of life is tasteless without love. Love is the salt, the energy of life, and the reason to get up every morning.

Every day can be exciting if we see ourselves as God's secret agents, waiting to sprinkle a little salt on all the lives we encounter. And we know that because we are deeply loved by God, we can never run out of love—no matter how much we give away.

To Honor

“Sprinkled throughout Scripture is a concept we feel is at the heart of all truly loving relationships. In fact the biblical concept of honor is one of the most powerful tools a husband or wife can use to carve out a lasting and intimate marriage. In Scripture, wives are told to give honor to their husbands (Ephesians 5:33) and husbands, to give honor to their wives (1 Peter 3:7). What do we mean by honor?”

“What do we mean by honor? Perhaps the best way to illustrate what the word means is to look at its opposite.

“In the Old Testament, the word dishonor literally means ‘to give something little means to give something little or no weight or value.’ Dishonoring people, then, means treating them as if who they are or what they have to share, or their feelings has little value. Dishonoring actions in a marriage may start with a critical word, an angry glance, statement or an action that devalues a person’s feelings or opinions. This may not provoke a major problem at first. Dishonor may settle like a mist over the relationship, so light that neither partner notices the change in climate. But if left unchecked, one day that mist of devaluing words and actions may build up and turn into a blanket or fog. It may then create physical, emotional, and spiritual problems and even jeopardize the marriage.

How can we avoid dishonoring our loved ones and begin to honor them instead? We can get a handle on honoring our spouses by looking at an important aspect of the word honor.

Throughout Scripture, giving people honor involves recognizing that they have great worth and then treating them like a valuable treasure. The word itself denotes placing a great price, weight, or significance on something. How does my treating my spouse like a valuable treasure draw us together?

‘Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also’ (Matthew 6:21). In other words, what we treasure is what we have feelings for. The more we treasure God, the greater our desire to spend time in His Word and in prayer. The more we treasure our spouses and treat them like valuable gifts from God, the greater our positive feelings toward them will be.

“We can picture it this way. If you had a priceless vase that had been in the family for years, you would go to great lengths to protect and care for it. You’d put it in a prominent place in your home and set up indirect lighting to highlight its beauty. You wouldn’t think of picking up a priceless vase and shaking it or throwing it around like a Frisbee. Instead, you would treat it with tenderness and gentleness because it was so valuable to you.

“Now stop and ask yourself a few important questions. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is of little value and 10 equals highest value, how highly do you value your spouse? Do you treat him or her like a special treasure God has entrusted to you? Other than your relationship with the Lord, are there things in your life or home that you consider more valuable than your spouse —your job, your friends, outings or even TV or Games? If your spouse were asked to stand up in front of your closest friends and family and share how highly he or she felt valued by you, what rating would he or she mention? Really ask yourself this question.

“In any relationship, there will be times when we are tempted to lower our spouse’s value below where it should be. However, when we make a decision to grant honor to our spouses —to recognize them as people of great value and then treat them like priceless treasures—we go a long way toward strengthening our marriages so that they can survive such times. Do you need practical examples of what it means to honor your spouse? Here are just a few ideas to get you started:

“Be interested in her feelings, Ask his opinion frequently. Be gentle and tender in your tone of voice and touch. Avoid sudden changes without discussion or giving the other person time to adjust. Follow through on promises, NEVER say you will do something and not do it. NEVER say you don't have to worry honey I won't do that when you WILL. Set and keep specific family goals for each year. Go on a romantic outing. Surprise her with a card or flowers. Defend him to others.(stand by your man). Keep your spiritual life in shape. Don’t ever say things in anger, ‘You’re just like your mother!’ "I can't wait to leave, I don't have time for this"!

“You can waste hours on a hundred different things, but you’ll never waste one minute putting honor into practice in your most important relationships. Do yourself and your spouse a favor. Give him or her a gift that can continue to bless both of you for a lifetime —the gift of honor.”

---

Keep in mind that when we hurt each other, we’re hurting the testimony of Christ. When we dishonor one another we dishonor the testimony of Christ. When we act unloving and “un-Christ-like” to each other we’re hurting the living picture of Christ that God wants to display through us. After all, how will the world view the transforming love of Christ if we aren’t showing the love and grace of Christ toward one another in our marriages? Even if your spouse doesn’t treat you in the same way, realize that whenever you give honor to your spouse you are giving it “as unto the Lord.”

Recipe for happiness in marriage.

No doubt many experts and marriage counselors will differ in opinion on what makes a good marriage, What is the true recipe for happiness in marriage. Doubtful of all the ingredients out there, that just one makes or breaks the deal, but true friendship must be one of them. It must be the main ingredient. If there is true friendship between husband and wife, the marriage avoids landing on the rocks. Instead, it becomes a rock-hard marriage where no individual or circumstance can put it asunder.

In fact, it is the genuine friendship between two people that put more meaning in the words, “for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, till death do us part” – “the shelter of each other.” So to speak.

Here are a few reasons why friendship is so important in a marriage.

Friendship means fun.

Friendship in a marriage means that the marriage will be full with memories of laughter and humour, for didn’t we choose those friends who made us laugh the most? Didn’t our mothers always tell us, “When choosing a husband, count the times he made you laugh.”

Friendship makes communication easier.

Friendship also means open and honest communication; a no holds barred type of union where our comfort level with our spouse goes beyond 100%, assured that what we say and how we say it will not be judged or taken in a negative light, and we will never be condemned by them when we share our feelings.

If you talk to married people, a wish they frequently express is that they remain the best of friends and the closest of companions. Surveys in fact reveal that if there is one component that will enable a couple to weather the tough times, it is friendship.

Friendship means never being lonely.

As a famous poet once said, “No man is an island.” Most people would agree that friendship is the antidote to loneliness. Getting married does not mean that people will never experience loneliness, but it does lessen our sense of separateness. In fact to feel lonely in marriage is a true warning sign that something is wrong.

Friendship between couples generates wholesome feelings of goodwill and fidelity. Our spouse – our friend – has our interests at heart, will not betray us and will be our staunchest supporter. When couples think of each other and not just themselves and make a continuing effort to make the marriage work, they’ve made the best investment they could ever make.

Friendship also makes spouses stronger; this strength is reinforced by the joy of shared history, of nostalgia and plans for the future.

Can romance can get in the way of friendship?

Romance is a good thing, and we could use heaps of it when our relationships get rocky. But mature friends are aware that romance can be a barrier to friendship. Why? Because romance obscures the darker side of our existence – our fears, anxieties, and insecurities. Yet, it is those fears, anxieties and insecurities that naturally draw us to our friend.

Doesn’t familiarity breed contempt?

Familiarity does NOT breed contempt. It breeds content. A sense of contentment equates with satisfaction, warmth, and unwavering assurance. Sharing a life together in love and friendship makes for a book that is deeper and thicker in shared histories, in content.

Friendship makes life infinitely more richer.

If you were to ask a happy bachelor and a happily married man to each write their stories, you’d get a positive narration from both. The single person’s perspective would however be I, me and myself – and possibly a string of blind dates and Saturday nights alone. The married man will talk about “us”, of mutual interests – a story definitely made richer because there are two stories, not one, or at least we would hope that we would see this growth in a married man.

Friendship is the contract that binds.

People who have remained happily married are those who understand that there are actually two marriage contracts, not just one. With true friendship in their marriage they know that they can count on each other when times are bad, and that alone generates a considerable degree of peace of mind and a sense of calm for the soul.

Since love is less permanent (we may fall in and out of love a few times in our lifetime) and friendship more durable, every attempt must be made to make our spouse not only a lover and a partner, but also a friend; that sort of bond will create a love that one will never all out of.

There used to be so many ideas floating around in my head for how I thought God wanted to use me. I was certain of a few things: I could sing very well, I could write fairly well, I didn't have a problem speaking in front of people and I was far from shy. I thought of these things as talents...thought that I was lucky to be able to do these things. Little did I know, I had it all wrong. It wasn't until much later in my life even more recently that I learned that these things I could do were blessed gifts from my Father, spiritual gifts, if you will. I began to put two and two together and realized that if I combined these gifts, I could use them the way God intended me to- to draw others nearer to Him. So, I write blogs and inspiring things that the Holy Spirit leads me to write. I began to talk to strangers, people I work with, family who ever would listen to what I might say about my Lord. I really hadn't realized it, but I have been building a ministry to reach out to those who were broken and hurting, those who never knew about Jesus, to let them know that they are loved and that Jesus is their Savior. I guess just in the last few months in my seeking God's understanding on things, and prayer, I was shown these things. I knew that I have had a calling to ministry as well as my husband. He is formally schooled in ministry. However, I rely on my Bible and the Holy Spirit alone as I have not had the opportunity to actually attend ministry school. But the Lord has shown me that I have already let him use me and start a ministry of my very own. I didn't really even realize it, it was just something that I have done as the Spirit has led me to do. I have found more people seeking me out to find out after hearing me talk, asking more about Jesus and asking questions on how they too can be saved. I have found that people I have spoken to and prayed with have found their way to salvation.

Jesus took bread, blessed it, broke it and gave it to the multitudes. God takes us, breaks us and gives us to the multitudes. I was broken before I started living my life the way God intended me to live it. I was broken more than one time- because sometimes, that's what it takes for God to get the point across. I had no idea when I felt I was at my lowest point, that God was in control the entire time, that He was stepping in and trying to give me a clean heart and a righteous spirit. I believe that our pain will be for the gain of His kingdom. That has certainly been the case in my experiences. I could not understand WHY? all the attacks from the enemy, WHY? back to back to back one thing after another. I finally fell on my face completely broken and asked God. I said " I am living for you, I am working towards the goal of ministry, I am doing my best, what happens when I finally get into the ministry, my husband as well? What then?" Will the enemy REALLY attack us then? This is just so much Lord. The answer came with a deafening BOOM! Who told you that you were NOT ALREADY doing my work? That you are NOT ALREADY in ministry? The day you made the commitment was the day I gave you a ministry. His words stood my heart still as it leaped inside my chest. I had been looking at my husband going to school for ministry all this time and waiting for the day that all the sudden it would just start. I had not realized that God was already using ME, that I have had to be broken and stay faithful all at the same time, That I was getting all these crazy attacks from the enemy trying to stall me out. Trying to deter me from work in progress, from my very own God given ministry. That HE made me a fisher of man. He is the one who chose me. I did not need to wait, there was not one day I would just wake up and be in the ministry. I was already ministering. Attacked over and over by the enemy.. Yet I have still stayed faithful to the Lord and pressed on. It made perfect sense now. You see I pray. I pray all day long, I pray at work, play, cooking, cleaning, driving what ever. I talk to God all day long. Very few see this, it's just my own thing. I know what God has in store usually before it happens as he shows me so many things. But lately, I have been doing his work without actually knowing it, and all the time not understanding WHY all the attacks on me in general. Almost blinded by it all, Until he showed me. That it had became a way of life, natural, and easy. Even with all the attacks. I found reward just in sharing my love for Christ even through all storms. That no matter what I had lost, or the trials I have been going through, I was just happy to be his, to share his word and do my part to save another lost soul.

Meekness is strength under control. This means that we can do something about our present situation, sure- but we're not going to do anything until God delivers us. Until HIS time. Until he opens our eyes. The more desperate and willing we are to be foolsfor Christ, especially under fire from the enemy, the more Jesus loves it! How much for faithful will he be to us by our faithfulness to him. The peace I have found just since realizing all of this is amazing. What are you willing to do for Him? For His kingdom? Are you winning souls even under scrutiny and attacks from the enemy?

Brokenness means to crush and destroy, but it also means New Birth! The enemy may seem to crush and destroy us (or at least that is how it feels and seems at times) but through Christ we rise up NEW and reborn after the storms the enemy throws at us. There's a simple prayer for us all to pray- "Take me, break me and make me what You want me to be!" If you want to let God use you, stop telling Him where and when it's going to be! (After I get a degree, after I graduate school, when I start a prayer meeting, after this or that) So many of us dream of being on the platform, but 99% of ministry cannot take place on the platform! It's going out into a dying world, hungry and thirsty for the Word of God! It's helping a friend or neighbor. It's time to stand up and say, "Here I am, Lord! Use me!" Let him use you in your everyday... before your degree, your graduation, your prayer meeting, all the this and that's. Let him use you on "the way" to your life destination.

God is working in you this very moment. He who began a good work is able to complete it! That is a promise we can count on! God changes us every day...from glory into glory, into glory! Hallelujah! We are the apple of God's eye. He has picked us out to pick us, pick and redeem us! Let's give God everything we are and everything we are not. We're everything with Him, but nothing without Him. We're His chosen instruments. Before any of us were formed in our mothers' wombs, He knew us and accepted us. Friends, God knows you and He knows me. He knows our names and has a plan for each of us. I encourage you to pray about what you've read here today. God is ready to use you, but you have to let him. There may be roads marked with suffering, and pain in the offering, but remember- that pain will be for the gain of His kingdom. So maybe it won't be today or tomorrow or six months from now, but when you've prayed and you're ready, let your Father take you, break you and make you what he wants you to be, because each one of us is needed to help build the kingdom.