There used to be so many ideas floating around in my head for how I thought God wanted to use me. I was certain of a few things: I could sing very well, I could write fairly well, I didn't have a problem speaking in front of people and I was far from shy. I thought of these things as talents...thought that I was lucky to be able to do these things. Little did I know, I had it all wrong. It wasn't until much later in my life even more recently that I learned that these things I could do were blessed gifts from my Father, spiritual gifts, if you will. I began to put two and two together and realized that if I combined these gifts, I could use them the way God intended me to- to draw others nearer to Him. So, I write blogs and inspiring things that the Holy Spirit leads me to write. I began to talk to strangers, people I work with, family who ever would listen to what I might say about my Lord. I really hadn't realized it, but I have been building a ministry to reach out to those who were broken and hurting, those who never knew about Jesus, to let them know that they are loved and that Jesus is their Savior. I guess just in the last few months in my seeking God's understanding on things, and prayer, I was shown these things. I knew that I have had a calling to ministry as well as my husband. He is formally schooled in ministry. However, I rely on my Bible and the Holy Spirit alone as I have not had the opportunity to actually attend ministry school. But the Lord has shown me that I have already let him use me and start a ministry of my very own. I didn't really even realize it, it was just something that I have done as the Spirit has led me to do. I have found more people seeking me out to find out after hearing me talk, asking more about Jesus and asking questions on how they too can be saved. I have found that people I have spoken to and prayed with have found their way to salvation.

Jesus took bread, blessed it, broke it and gave it to the multitudes. God takes us, breaks us and gives us to the multitudes. I was broken before I started living my life the way God intended me to live it. I was broken more than one time- because sometimes, that's what it takes for God to get the point across. I had no idea when I felt I was at my lowest point, that God was in control the entire time, that He was stepping in and trying to give me a clean heart and a righteous spirit. I believe that our pain will be for the gain of His kingdom. That has certainly been the case in my experiences. I could not understand WHY? all the attacks from the enemy, WHY? back to back to back one thing after another. I finally fell on my face completely broken and asked God. I said " I am living for you, I am working towards the goal of ministry, I am doing my best, what happens when I finally get into the ministry, my husband as well? What then?" Will the enemy REALLY attack us then? This is just so much Lord. The answer came with a deafening BOOM! Who told you that you were NOT ALREADY doing my work? That you are NOT ALREADY in ministry? The day you made the commitment was the day I gave you a ministry. His words stood my heart still as it leaped inside my chest. I had been looking at my husband going to school for ministry all this time and waiting for the day that all the sudden it would just start. I had not realized that God was already using ME, that I have had to be broken and stay faithful all at the same time, That I was getting all these crazy attacks from the enemy trying to stall me out. Trying to deter me from work in progress, from my very own God given ministry. That HE made me a fisher of man. He is the one who chose me. I did not need to wait, there was not one day I would just wake up and be in the ministry. I was already ministering. Attacked over and over by the enemy.. Yet I have still stayed faithful to the Lord and pressed on. It made perfect sense now. You see I pray. I pray all day long, I pray at work, play, cooking, cleaning, driving what ever. I talk to God all day long. Very few see this, it's just my own thing. I know what God has in store usually before it happens as he shows me so many things. But lately, I have been doing his work without actually knowing it, and all the time not understanding WHY all the attacks on me in general. Almost blinded by it all, Until he showed me. That it had became a way of life, natural, and easy. Even with all the attacks. I found reward just in sharing my love for Christ even through all storms. That no matter what I had lost, or the trials I have been going through, I was just happy to be his, to share his word and do my part to save another lost soul.

Meekness is strength under control. This means that we can do something about our present situation, sure- but we're not going to do anything until God delivers us. Until HIS time. Until he opens our eyes. The more desperate and willing we are to be foolsfor Christ, especially under fire from the enemy, the more Jesus loves it! How much for faithful will he be to us by our faithfulness to him. The peace I have found just since realizing all of this is amazing. What are you willing to do for Him? For His kingdom? Are you winning souls even under scrutiny and attacks from the enemy?

Brokenness means to crush and destroy, but it also means New Birth! The enemy may seem to crush and destroy us (or at least that is how it feels and seems at times) but through Christ we rise up NEW and reborn after the storms the enemy throws at us. There's a simple prayer for us all to pray- "Take me, break me and make me what You want me to be!" If you want to let God use you, stop telling Him where and when it's going to be! (After I get a degree, after I graduate school, when I start a prayer meeting, after this or that) So many of us dream of being on the platform, but 99% of ministry cannot take place on the platform! It's going out into a dying world, hungry and thirsty for the Word of God! It's helping a friend or neighbor. It's time to stand up and say, "Here I am, Lord! Use me!" Let him use you in your everyday... before your degree, your graduation, your prayer meeting, all the this and that's. Let him use you on "the way" to your life destination.

God is working in you this very moment. He who began a good work is able to complete it! That is a promise we can count on! God changes us every day...from glory into glory, into glory! Hallelujah! We are the apple of God's eye. He has picked us out to pick us, pick and redeem us! Let's give God everything we are and everything we are not. We're everything with Him, but nothing without Him. We're His chosen instruments. Before any of us were formed in our mothers' wombs, He knew us and accepted us. Friends, God knows you and He knows me. He knows our names and has a plan for each of us. I encourage you to pray about what you've read here today. God is ready to use you, but you have to let him. There may be roads marked with suffering, and pain in the offering, but remember- that pain will be for the gain of His kingdom. So maybe it won't be today or tomorrow or six months from now, but when you've prayed and you're ready, let your Father take you, break you and make you what he wants you to be, because each one of us is needed to help build the kingdom.