In fact, it is the genuine friendship between two people that put more meaning in the words, “for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, till death do us part” – “the shelter of each other.” So to speak.
Here are a few reasons why friendship is so important in a marriage.
Friendship means fun.
Friendship in a marriage means that the marriage will be full with memories of laughter and humour, for didn’t we choose those friends who made us laugh the most? Didn’t our mothers always tell us, “When choosing a husband, count the times he made you laugh.”
Friendship makes communication easier.
Friendship also means open and honest communication; a no holds barred type of union where our comfort level with our spouse goes beyond 100%, assured that what we say and how we say it will not be judged or taken in a negative light, and we will never be condemned by them when we share our feelings.
If you talk to married people, a wish they frequently express is that they remain the best of friends and the closest of companions. Surveys in fact reveal that if there is one component that will enable a couple to weather the tough times, it is friendship.
Friendship means never being lonely.
As a famous poet once said, “No man is an island.” Most people would agree that friendship is the antidote to loneliness. Getting married does not mean that people will never experience loneliness, but it does lessen our sense of separateness. In fact to feel lonely in marriage is a true warning sign that something is wrong.
Friendship between couples generates wholesome feelings of goodwill and fidelity. Our spouse – our friend – has our interests at heart, will not betray us and will be our staunchest supporter. When couples think of each other and not just themselves and make a continuing effort to make the marriage work, they’ve made the best investment they could ever make.
Friendship also makes spouses stronger; this strength is reinforced by the joy of shared history, of nostalgia and plans for the future.
Can romance can get in the way of friendship?
Romance is a good thing, and we could use heaps of it when our relationships get rocky. But mature friends are aware that romance can be a barrier to friendship. Why? Because romance obscures the darker side of our existence – our fears, anxieties, and insecurities. Yet, it is those fears, anxieties and insecurities that naturally draw us to our friend.
Doesn’t familiarity breed contempt?
Familiarity does NOT breed contempt. It breeds content. A sense of contentment equates with satisfaction, warmth, and unwavering assurance. Sharing a life together in love and friendship makes for a book that is deeper and thicker in shared histories, in content.
Friendship makes life infinitely more richer.
If you were to ask a happy bachelor and a happily married man to each write their stories, you’d get a positive narration from both. The single person’s perspective would however be I, me and myself – and possibly a string of blind dates and Saturday nights alone. The married man will talk about “us”, of mutual interests – a story definitely made richer because there are two stories, not one, or at least we would hope that we would see this growth in a married man.
Friendship is the contract that binds.
People who have remained happily married are those who understand that there are actually two marriage contracts, not just one. With true friendship in their marriage they know that they can count on each other when times are bad, and that alone generates a considerable degree of peace of mind and a sense of calm for the soul.
Since love is less permanent (we may fall in and out of love a few times in our lifetime) and friendship more durable, every attempt must be made to make our spouse not only a lover and a partner, but also a friend; that sort of bond will create a love that one will never all out of.
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