Ephesians 5:21-31
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
We all have particular Character traits that make us who we are. These are the virtues and vices that we carry around in our heart and mind. The question is are we actually using our virtuous character traits to live our life with? Or are we allowing our vices to overwrite the virtues of who we are?
Are we awarding our marriage with the importance it deserves or are we behaving lazy by not contributing the positive aspects of our self into the marriage?
Mark 10:6-9
"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Ask your self. Who am I? What does my marriage mean to me? Am I done growing? Am I happy with me?
I don't think we ever stop growing spiritually or mentally. I believe we continue to learn and to grow until we pass on. The amount of spiritual and mental growth we accomplish is all up to what we believe in and what we do with those beliefs.
If a person doesn't place too much importance on their marriage they tend to base their marriage upon certain vices and indulgences to feed their ego.
Romans 12:10b
Honor one another above yourselves.
Ephesians 5:21-31
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
In other words, they haven't figured out yet, that happiness is up to them and what virtues they bring into their marriage not what vices they support the marriage with.
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Our potential in life is much greater than we allow it to be and we actually stunt the spiritual and mental growth process by way of our mind. Our mind becomes consumed to live on the physical realm of feelings to such an extent that we don't know we can also feel good on the spiritual level as well.
1 Cor 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
We concern our selves with what FEELS good physically, what tastes good to our taste buds, and what looks appealing to the eyes, and yet, what about the spiritual mind, and learning to live our life under the support of God's world?
Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Let's explore the difference between virtues and vices.
In this blog we'll take a look at faithfulness vs. adultery
Faithfulness is a virtuous character trait. Not everyone can be faithful in his or her marriage. There are those who place less value and importance on who they are. Unfortunately the health and welfare of marriage is up to what a person brings into it, how they feel about self, and what they believe in.
Proverbs - Chapter 20:6
Many a man proclaims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?
Those people who are spiritually aware are those who use the potential within them and who ultimately have better marriages. The reason for this is they bring upright and moral character traits from self into the marriage. They make their marriage what it is, good or bad, by what foundation they use to base their marriage on.
Col 3:12-14Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
The world is a tempting place to all couples in marriage, and there are good-looking guys and gals everywhere that will tempt us to be with them sexually, I have often been heard quoting "There is always someone prettier or better looking than you"; and yet, not all married people commit adultery!
Proverbs - Chapter 5:20-21
Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?
For a man's ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths.
Matthew - Chapter 5:27-28
You have heard that it was said, "Do not commit adultery." But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
The difference between the adulterer and the faithful spouse goes back to the virtues and vices within them. The person who commits the act of adultery in flesh or mind (as it is the same in God's and most spouses eyes) has not grown out from self in a spiritual way but has stayed within the selfish aspect of who they are. Selfishness usually doesn't understand the commitment of marriage, respect, honesty and trust. It is too selfish to comprehend those virtues of character. Respect, honesty and trust can be defined in multiple ways, however Respect in a marriage is treating ones spouse with considerable care by your own actions as not to cause harm, hurt or pain to them whether it be the way you treat them, speak to them or carry on with others (eg: inappropriateness with others, flirtations with others, going out drinking, not calling causing worry) . Honesty in a marriage is not hiding behind false ideas, misleading, covering up actions, doing anything that ones spouse is not aware of especially if they would not approve or it would hinder the Honesty and Trust issue in the marriage. Trust in a marriage is keeping yourself only for ones spouse by body, touch, thoughts, words, and sexually, never allowing disrespect to occur or dishonesty to cloud the marriage. Without trust, marriages are often impossible to continue.
First Corinthians - Chapter 6:18-20
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?
You are not your own; You were bought at a price.
Therefore honor God with your body.
Selfishness and rebelliousness runs rampant in marriages, which is the root of most divorce in this society.
This is not to say that they cannot expand their horizons someday and grow out from self and learn to be of more virtuous character either. All I am saying is these people still need to grow spiritually and mentally. And then again, a number of people never decide to take the virtuous path and so end up living their life not knowing all they can accomplish for them selves and for those around them. This is called being spiritually stunted.
What makes a person succeed does not stem from what one does such as career, money and or power but by what one is, which is the virtuous character traits of that person. If they have expanded their spiritual paths by learning to live by virtues rather than vices and still be happy and content with themselves and life, they have succeeded.
Too many people misunderstand the meaning of success, thinking it has something to do with how much money one has or that their mortgage is paid off. Anyone can have those things with the right ambition but not everyone can have virtues of character.
Now on the opposite side of faithfulness we have adultery. So then what is the difference between the faithful spouse and the spouse who commits adultery? The faithful spouse does not live by physical but by virtues of character; which has been given to them through spiritual learning and growth.
1 Cor 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
In other words, virtue of character overwrites the sinful temptations of the world. They do not allow the temptation or desire to supersede over the virtuous mind within them, and the true God given love that is shared between two people God joined in the covenant of marriage.
The repeated adulterer(ess) doesn't place too much value upon who he is. It may seem to others that he does regard himself highly but really he is hiding behind a cloak of deceit, mostly to him self.
In a pea pod, life and what we make of it will always come back to the value of self. And if you have already read any of my blogs you know that I place high importance on fixing self FIRST. Only then can we get to the root of the problems and circumstances that surround our life.
In other words, until a person grows out from the selfish aspects of who they are, they will live in their weakness, feeling bitter, unhappy, and hopeless. To them their only hope is the pleasure they receive from their vices. But there is hope.
Once a person understands how to grow out from the negative and destructive vices of self, the sooner they can begin to use the potential within them. Which are his God given virtues of character.
Know and believe this, everyone has a spiritual aspect of self hidden away within him or her. God provides us with spiritual tools such as faith, self-control, patience, love, kindness, and peace to help us to grow out from the selfish aspects of self.
The question we might ask ourselves then is are we using our vices or virtues to live our life by? Am I happy with me? Because you will never be fully happy with anyone no matter how perfect they are and you will keep searching and searching for that perfect person when all along it was you that needed found. Only God can complete a person. One that occurs marriages shrive and prosper.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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