THE ART OF STAYING IN LOVE!

The Art of Staying in Love


What is more exciting and exhilarating than falling in love? Is there anything?

Sadly, though, many of us have learned that it's just as easy to fall out of love as it was to fall into it. And while finding love and affection is one of our greatest personal needs, why is it that so few seem to stay in love?

Falling in love can be the start of a loving relationship, but lasting relationships don't just happen; they grow. In many ways nurturing a relationship is like tending a garden. Neglect it and it dies. Constant care and cultivation—including the following suggestions—are needed to keep love alive and growing.

Love is being there. One of the chief ingredients of love is to give another person your presence. Without presence, as Dr. David Augsburger says, love receives an invitation to die. Couples must find the time to make every minute count when experiencing long bouts of being apart for work, school, or economical reasons.

Presence is not only spending physical time with another person but also giving him or her your undivided attention when you are with them, or even on the phone. It includes being sensitive to his/her feelings and aware of his/her needs. It means not only hearing with your ears but, much more so, hearing with your heart.

For instance, recently I visited with a friend who spent the entire time talking about his interests and concerns. I tried to share some of my interests, too, but felt as if my words fell on deaf ears. There was no experiencing of MUTUAL PRESENCE—the basis for all meaningful relationships including friendships.

Loving relationships don't
just happen: they grow.

Love is understanding. Most behavior is caused or motivated. Once we understand this, we can be much more accepting and loving. For example, one father I know was having difficulty with one of his two children. One was the "perfect" child, the other constantly rebelling."

Is one of your children a favorite?" I asked the father. With a tinge of embarrassment he admitted the "good" child was. "Do you think this could be the cause of your difficult son's negative behavior?" I asked again. The answer was obvious.

Much negative behavior in adults as well as children is caused by not feeling adequately loved. This may have its roots in present relationships or from unmet childhood needs. Either way, when people are acting negatively, pulling away or yelling, they are hurting and, in a way, however clumsily, are yelling for help. If we can see this and take the time to understand the real cause behind their behavior instead of taking it personally and yelling back, we can go a long way in strengthening our love relationships.

Love is accepting responsibility. Most of us bring the excess baggage of unresolved issues from the past into our close relationships. For example, the man who didn't get along with his mother and is still angry at her, will inevitably take out his hostility on his wife and family. Or the woman who felt mistreated by her father or some other significant male and is distrustful of men will take out her hurt and anger on her husband, and so on.

If we desire to stay in love, it is imperative that each of us accepts the responsibility for resolving our inner conflicts that cause dissension in our present relationships. We were not responsible for our upbringing but we are now totally responsible for what we do about resolving any negative effects our past had on us.

Love is more than sex. Love is much more than a physical relationship. It is also an emotional relationship. The man who ignores the emotional needs of his wife and expects to receive a warm response in bed is inviting frustration. Women are not machines to be turned on at will. Sex starts in the kitchen at six, not in the bedroom at nine. A long-lasting physical relationship is the result of an ongoing healthy emotional relationship.

On the other hand, the wife who no longer shows any interest in her husband's life outside the home feels totally shocked when she discovers that one of the younger women at the office has. Many men (and women too) who get involved in extra-marital activity, don't do it so much for sexual reasons but for companionship—someone who will listen to them and make them feel important and appreciated.

Love is romance. I read about one woman who had been married for 25 years. She was in her front yard when the newlywed man from across the street arrived home from work. His wife rushed out the door to greet him and they stood embracing for a long time.

The observer got the message. When her husband came home that evening she did likewise. The rewards of all such romantic gestures are well worth the effort. And men, don't forget that our ladies love a rose from time to time and other "little things" that make them feel loved and important. A good tip for keeping romance alive, as one person suggested, is to have an affair—with your wife?

Love is a commitment. Love that lasts is a commitment of one imperfect person to another imperfect person. It means that no matter what, I am committed to you and to your growth. I will be what you need me to be—not necessarily what you want me to be. If you need me to be loving and affectionate, I will be loving and affectionate. Or, if for your growth you need me to be tough and firm, I will be tough and firm. Within the bounds of my own imperfections I will always strive to do and be what is best for your growth.

True love is a commitment
of one imperfect person to
another imperfect person.

This kind of commitment means that one will not try to manipulate the other person to get his or her own way, but will at all times maintain gut-level, open and honest communication. It isn't easy, but it is the way of love.

Love is spiritual. Love is not only physical and emotional, it is also spiritual. For instance, there have been studies that show the link between religion (the spiritual) and the family. They concluded that couples who attend church regularly are 42 percent more likely to be still married for the first time than couples who don't go to church.

However, it’s more than just going to church that makes a marriage happy. It's commitment that make the difference. Those truly committed to their spiritual faith are 23 percent more likely to have a "very happy" marriage than couples who don't go to church.

The point is when we respond to God's love, he gives us "a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline"1—all essential for cultivating loving relationships.

So, if you don't attend church regularly, why not start this week. Find a church where love, friendship, and affection are expressed. This, too, can help to greatly enrich your love life.

1. 2 Timothy 1:7.

What does the Bible say about forgiveness?

After this weeks events in my life, I find it hard almost to write this, but I have to KNOW that God has his hand on me and my family and when you KNOW you are living for him then you KNOW freedom from evil and torment is not your fate. I KNOW that I can forgive injustices as my reward is far greater as I will find peace in God. With that been said, I pray that others can find forgiveness inside themselves, I pray that others may look at a person and the wrongs from their past and realize that they are capable of change and a new life, and that forgiveness opens their eyes. Without forgiveness we are lost, and tied to the past. Let us move into the future living our new lives and going into our new direction with understanding of others, and support, not anger and shame. Let us make a choice to be forgiven and to give forgiveness to those who hurt and try to harm us.

Misty

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT FORGIVENESS?

It is not uncommon for Christians to have questions about forgiveness. Forgiveness does not come easy for most of us. Our natural instinct is to recoil in self-protection when we've been injured. We don't naturally overflow with mercy, grace and forgiveness when we've been wronged.

Is forgiveness a conscious choice, a physical act involving the will, or is it a feeling, an emotional state of being? The Bible offers insight and answers to these and many more common questions about forgiveness. We'll take a look at the most common questions and find out what the Bible says about forgiveness.

Is forgiveness a conscious choice, or an emotional state?

I believe forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to forgive.

The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

How do we forgive when we don't feel like it? How do we translate the decision to forgive into a change of heart?

We forgive by faith, out of obedience. Since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.

I believe God honors our commitment to obey Him and our desire to please him when we choose to forgive. He completes the work in his time. We must continue to forgive (our job), by faith, until the work of forgiveness (the Lord's job), is done in our hearts.

Philippians 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

How will we know if we have truly forgiven?

Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."

We will know the work of forgiveness is complete when we experience the freedom that comes as a result. We are the ones who suffer most when we choose not to forgive. When we do forgive, the Lord sets our hearts free from the anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt that previously imprisoned us.

Most times, however, forgiveness is a slow process.

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

This answer by Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not easy for us. It's not a one-time choice and then we automatically live in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving, but it is important to the Lord. We must continue forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart.

What if the person we need to forgive is not a believer?

I have found that prayer is one of the best ways to break down the wall of un-forgiveness in my heart. When I begin to pray for the person who has wronged me, God begins to give me new eyes to see that person and a new heart to care for that person. As I pray I begin to see that person as God sees them, and I realize that person is precious to the Lord. I also see myself in a new light, just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. I too am in need of forgiveness. If God did not withhold his forgiveness from me, why should I withhold my forgiveness from another?

Is it okay to feel anger and want justice for the person we need to forgive?

This question presents another reason to pray for the person we need to forgive. We can pray for God to deal with the injustices, for God to judge the person's life, and then we can leave that prayer at the altar. We no longer have to carry the anger. Although it is normal for us to feel anger toward sin and injustice, it is not our job to judge the other person in their sin.

Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Why must we forgive?

The best reason to forgive is because Jesus commanded us to forgive. We learn from Scripture, if we don't forgive, neither will we be forgiven:

Matthew 6:14-16
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

We also forgive so that our prayers will not be hindered:

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

In summary and in closing, we forgive out of obedience to the Lord. It is a choice, a decision we make. However, as we do this "forgiving," we discover the command is in place for our own good, and we receive the reward of our forgiveness - freedom.

What does the Bible say about patience?

Question: "What does the Bible say about patience?"

Answer: When everything is going our way, patience is easy to demonstrate. The true test of patience comes when our rights are violated—when another car cuts us off in traffic; when we are treated unfairly; when our coworker derides our faith, again. Some people think they have a right to get upset in the face of irritations and trials. Impatience seems like a holy anger. The Bible, however, praises patience as a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) which should be produced for all followers of Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:14). Patience reveals our faith in God’s timing, omnipotence, and love.

Although most people consider patience to be a passive waiting or gentle tolerance, most of the Greek words translated “patience” in the New Testament are active, robust words. Consider, for example, Hebrews 12:1: “Therefore since we also are surrounded with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily besets us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us”. Does one run a race by passively waiting for slow-pokes or gently tolerating cheaters? Certainly not! The word translated “patience” in this verse means “endurance.” A Christian runs the race patiently by persevering through difficulties. In the Bible, patience is persevering towards a goal, enduring trials, or expectantly waiting for a promise to be fulfilled.

Patience does not develop overnight. God’s power and goodness are crucial to the development of patience. Colossians 1:11 tells us that we are strengthened by Him to “great endurance and patience,” while James 1:3-4 encourages us to know that trials are His way of perfecting our patience. Our patience is further developed and strengthened by resting in God’s perfect will and timing, even in the face of evil men who “succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes” (Psalm 37:7). Our patience is rewarded in the end “because the Lord's coming is near” (James 5:7-8). “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him” (Lamentations 3:25).

We see in the Bible many examples of those whose patience characterized their walk with God. James points us to the prophets “as an example of patience in the face of suffering” (James 5:10). He also refers to Job, whose perseverance was rewarded by what the “Lord finally brought about” (James 5:11). Abraham, too, waited patiently and “received what was promised” (Hebrews 6:15). Jesus is our model in all things, and He demonstrated patient endurance: “Who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).

How do we display the patience that is characteristic of Christ? First, we thank God. A person’s first reaction is usually “Why me?”, but the Bible says to rejoice in God’s will (Philippians 4:4; 1 Peter 1:6). Second, we seek His purposes. Sometimes God puts us in difficult situations so that we can be a witness. Other times, He might allow a trial for sanctification of character. Remembering that His purpose is for our growth and His glory will help us in the trial. Third, we remember His promises such as Romans 8:28, which tells us that “all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” The “all things” include the things that try our patience.

The next time you are in a traffic jam, betrayed by a friend, put through a trial in life, or mocked for your testimony, how will you respond? The natural response is impatience which leads to stress, anger, and frustration. Praise God that, as Christians, we are no longer in bondage to a “natural response” because we are new creations in Christ Himself (2 Corinthians 5:17). Instead, we have the Lord’s strength to respond with patience and in complete trust in the Father’s power and purpose. “To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life” (Romans 2:7).

I myself, even more so lately as I try to be closer to God find it hard, and very frustrating at times to find the patience that I know my Savior has put in me. I am so thankful for the man that God has put in my life, as I know he was sent to be my partner not only as a mate but as a brother in Christ. He helps ground me and prays for me. Having a christian mate makes all the difference in the world. It is so important to surround yourself with positive christian people if not your mate, in these times of trials when your feeling your most frustrated and weak. I know I have a greater purpose in life and that is to serve my Lord and do his perfect will. I believe that all things are possible through him and prayer is our best weapon against the worlds negativity and the devils continuous taunting. I pray for God' s peace to allow us to show patience through all situations and that God's grace will be sufficient to sustain us through all things.

Blessed are the PEACEMAKERS, for they shall be known as the Children of God. But I say to you that hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To those who strike you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from those who take away your cloak, do not withhold your coat as well. Give to everyone who begs from you, and of those who take away your goods, do not ask them again. And as you wish that others would do to you, so do to them.

Reflections for the New Year.

God has a plan for me. It is hidden within me, just as the oak is hidden within the acorn, or the rose within the bud. As I yield myself more fully to God, His plan expresses itself more perfectly through me. I can tell when I am in tune with it, for then my mind and my heart are filled with a deep, inner peace. This peace fills me with a sense of security, with joy, and a desire to take the steps that are a part of the plan.

God's plan for me is a perfect part of a larger plan. It is designed for the good of all and not for me alone. It is a multi- sided plan and reaches out through all the people I meet. All the events and people who come into my life are instruments of the unfolding of this plan.

God has chosen those people he wants me to know, to love and to serve. We are continually being drawn to one another in ways that are not coincidental. I pray that I may become a better instrument to love and to serve and that I may become more worthy to receive the love and service of others.

I ask the Father within me for only those things which he wants me to have. I know that these benefits will come to me at the right time and in the right way and in his time. This inner knowing frees my mind and heart from all fear, greed, jealousy, anger and resentment. It gives me courage, and faith to do those things which I feel are mine to do. I no longer look with envy at what others are receiving. Therefore, I do not cut myself off from God, the giver of all good things.

God's gifts to me can be many times greater than I am now receiving. I pray that I may increase my capacity to give, for I can give only as I receive, and receive only as I give.

I believe that when I cannot do those things I desire to do, It is because God has closed one door only to open a better and larger door. If I do not see the door just ahead, It is because I have not seen, heard, or obeyed God's guidance. It is then that God uses the trouble of seeming failure which may result to help me face myself, and see the new opportunity before me.

The real purpose of my life is to find God within my own mind and heart, obey him as I full fill his plan for me. I thank my father for each experience which helps me to surrender my will to his will. For only as I Lose myself in his will and stay in his great presence will his plan for my life be fulfilled.

As I come into the New Year, I pray that God leads me into his perfect plan and will. I will be receptive to his teaching and his voice.

BEING A TRUE CHRISTIAN

HOW TO BE A TRUE CHRISTIAN WITHOUT HAVING TO BE "RELIGIOUS".

1. Know God's Purpose

True, Christianity is a religion, but people can be religious without being Christians. Christ condemned the religious Pharisees of his day because they hid their real selves behind a facade of religion and external morality.

It may sound odd, but God isn't into religion or external morality. He's into relationships, inspirational living, and reality. That is, he wants us not only to have a right relationship with him, but also with each other and with ourselves. And he wants us to be real—to see and admit what we truly are so he can help us.

Neither is it God's goal to make us good. It's to make us whole, for only to the degree that we are made whole will our actions, lifestyle, and relationships be wholesome!

Religion tends to want to fix us from the outside in. God wants to fix us from the inside out. The first can become an impossible burden. The latter is what brings freedom. Christianity is not a set of rules and regulations. It is experiencing divine love, divine acceptance and divine forgiveness.

It helps to realize that God isn't out to zap us for the wrongs we've done. In fact, no matter what we have ever done or have failed to do, he loves us with an everlasting love and has a wonderful purpose for our lives—for this life as well as the next! As Jesus said, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."¹ And again, "My purpose is to give life in all its fullness."²

2. Man's Problem

On the outside we may look like we are doing very well, but on the inside everyone of us has a major issue. Seneca, the ancient Roman philosopher, put it bluntly when he said, "We have all sinned. Some more. Some less." God's Word, the Bible agrees. It reads, "We have all sinned and fallen short of God's standard."³ Sin, however, is not only doing harmful acts. It is anything that falls short of the standard of perfection that God envisioned for us. This includes nursing grudges and other negative emotions, pride, jealousy, mixed motives, etc. Most of us, too, are guilty of sins of omission; that is, not doing what we know we should and could do.⁴

Another misconception about God is that he is out to get us or to punish us for our sins. We bring sin's punishment on ourselves because sin has its own natural consequences. If we try to break the universal law of gravity, for instance, we can't. It will break us. Neither can we break God's universal moral law. When we do, it breaks us, and besides its painful effects in this life—suffering, sorrow, sickness and spiritual death—its ultimate and tragic consequence is eternal death or separation from God.⁵

We are like a burned out or "dead" electric light bulb that cannot respond to its power source. And because we are spiritually dead, we cannot respond to God's love and power either, without his first "fixing" us. Furthermore, because of our spiritual deadness, it is impossible for anyone to save him or herself. Only God can do this. This is why all the "good works" in the world cannot make us alive to God. Only when we see and admit this, is God able to "fix" us!

3. Christ's Answer

Because our sin has separated or disconnected us from God, we have been left with a God-shaped vacuum, or spiritual emptiness, within. As Augustine put it, "You have made us for yourself, O God, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you." The world's many religions are all evidence of man's endless search to find God and fill this vacuum. However, because God loved us so much, he sent his own sinless Son, Jesus Christ, to save us from our predicament.⁶

Christ did this by dying on the cross in our place to pay the consequence of and ransom price for our sins—death. Thus, Jesus Christ is God's only provision for our sin, and he is the only way back to God and the only door into eternal life.⁷

God's Word, the Bible, says, "For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all men."⁸ Had there been any other way to save mankind, Christ wouldn't have had to die for us. Because he was without sin, he was the only one qualified to die for our sins.

4. Invitation to accept God's pardon

If you were found guilty of a serious crime and were condemned to death, and if offered, would you accept a free unconditional pardon?

Because of Christ's dying for us, that's what God offers us, and with it the gift of eternal life. All we need to do is to accept his pardon. Here's how to do this:

First: Confess. God's Word says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins."⁹

Second: Repent. That is, we need to turn from sinful and selfish ways to follow God and his ways. Jesus said, "The Kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe."¹⁰ That is, we need to turn from sinful and selfish ways to follow God and his ways.

Third: Believe. "Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved,"¹¹ declares the Word of God.

Fourth: Receive. God also said, "To all who received him [Christ], to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God."¹²

Admitting our sinfulness, believing that Jesus died for our sins, inviting him into our lives as Lord and Savior, and accepting God's forgiveness is what makes us real Christians. The following prayer will help you do this:

"Dear God, I confess that I am a sinner and am sorry for all the wrongs that I have done. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for my sins. Please forgive me. I invite you, Jesus, to come into my heart and life as Lord and Savior. I commit and trust my life to you. Please give me the desire to be what you want me to be and to do what you want me to do. Thank you for dying for my sins, for your free pardon, for your gift of eternal life, and for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen."

5. Here's Great Assurance

If you genuinely prayed the prayer to invite Jesus Christ into your life and truly meant it, you are now a true Christian and have the gift of a new spiritual life as well as eternal life. You are also a child of God and a member of his family.¹³ God promised this. Choose to accept it. Take it by faith and not feelings. Feelings change but God's Word never does.

God's Word says, "And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life."¹⁴

When you pray to receive Christ into your life, you have a brand new spiritual life and this life needs care and nurturing just as your physical life does.

A prayer to recommit your life to Jesus Christ:

"Dear God, I confess that I have strayed from my first love for you and want to recommit my life and way to you. Please help me to become the man/woman/teen you want me to be and always live a life that will please you and be a witness to others of your saving grace and power. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name amen!

FOOTNOTES: 1. John 3:16; 2. John 10:10; 3. Romans 3:23; 4. James 4:17; 5. Romans 6:23; 6. See Ephesians 2:8-9; 7. See John 14:6; 8. 1 Timothy 2:5-6; 9. 1 John 1:9; 10. Mark 1:15; 11. Acts 16:31; 12. John 1:12; 13. See 2 Corinthians 5:17 and John 1:12; 14. 1 John 5:11-13.

To live in God's will, and be as his deciples you have to hear his will for you.

“For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than a two edged sword, piercing even the division of souls and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is the discerner of the thoughts and of the intents of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Living by God’s Word is choosing to live daily in His presence and subjecting ourselves to His heart. So often people say, “I don’t’ seem to hear from God. How is it that He speaks to you?” He communicates to us by His written Word the Bible. As we read the Word of God, we can expect Him to speak to our hearts and inspire us. He never fails to offer us something to hold onto, something to take with us. We can expect that He will reveal Himself to us in an extraordinary way.

Living by God’s Word cuts to the deepest parts of our souls, searches our hearts, and transforms us into His Image. His Word is truly living, powerful and full of promise: “So shall My Word be that goes forth from My mouth it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing that I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11 )

God will accomplish great things. His desire is to transform us and bring out the best in us. But in order to do so, we must surrender our lives to Him. As we daily live by His Word the Lords character will be developed in us. As you devote your heart to “Live by His Word.” This will lead to a radical change in our outlook and actions, and we will bear the image of God’s Son Jesus Christ. Lately I have found myself falling into the human dis pair and troubled thoughts, I like everyone will do this from time to time. I get advice from friends and family as well, which in return just add to my confusion and frustration. I have to take a deep breath then I just grab my bible and start to read, and listen to God's will for me and for my life. I have to meditate on his word and know that it isn't my will, or my families will, or my friends will be done, but his. I have to remind myself it is all in "God's" time, Not mine. He knows my hearts desires, and as his child I will listen and follow his will. This is my readings for the week and a break down so to speak to help on this race we all are in, we need to remember we have to finish it only according to his will.

Blessings always,

Misty

Hear and obey his commands

"So the disciples went and did as Jesus commanded them." Matthew 21:6

"Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, 'If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.'" John 8:31-32

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:34-35

Follow God's Word and ways

"... seeing the multitudes, He went up on a mountain, and when He was seated His disciples came to Him. Then He opened His mouth and taught them." Matthew 5:1-2

"He spoke a parable to them: 'Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher." Luke 6:39-40

"He said to His disciples, 'Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing." Luke 12:22-23

Know and love Jesus

"He turned and said to them, 'If anyone comes to Me land does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it.... So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple." Luke 14:25-33

"Now when He got into a boat, His disciples followed Him. And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep. Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, Lord, save us! We are perishing! But He said to them, 'Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?' Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. So the men marveled, saying, 'Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?" Matthew 8:23-27

"He asked His disciples, saying, 'Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?' So they said, 'Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.'
"He said to them, 'But who do you say that I am?' Simon Peter answered and said, 'You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.' Jesus answered and said to him, 'Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.'" Matthew 16:13-17

"Jesus called His disciples to Him and said to them, 'I have compassion on the multitude, because they have now continued with Me three days and have nothing to eat. And if I send them away hungry to their own houses, they will faint on the way; for some of them have come from afar.'..." Mark 8:1-4

"...their scribes and the Pharisees complained against His disciples, saying, 'Why do You eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?”
"Jesus answered and said to them, Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance." Luke 5:30-32

Abide in Him

"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.
"As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full." John 15:5-10

"....according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:20-21

"Continue in prayer"

"...we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God." Romans 8:26-27

"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16

"Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him." 1 John 5:14-15

"When He rose up from prayer, and had come to His disciples, He found them sleeping from sorrow. Then He said to them, 'Why do you sleep? Rise and spray, lest you enter into temptation.'" Luke 22:45 [More on Prayer]

Are commission to serve wherever He sends them

"...when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them, 'Peace be with you.' When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.
"So Jesus said to them again, 'Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.' And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, 'Receive the Holy Spirit.'" John 20:19- 23

"I now send you, to open their eyes, in order to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in Me.'" Acts 26:17-18

"Then He called His twelve disciples together and gave them power and authority over all demons, and to cure diseases. He sent them to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. And He said to them, 'Take nothing for the journey, neither staffs nor bag nor bread nor money; and do not have two tunics apiece." Luke 9:1-3

"... the word of God spread, and the number of the disciples multiplied greatly in Jerusalem, and a great many of the priests were obedient to the faith." Acts 6:7

Encourage each other in the faith

After he had spent some time there, he departed and went over the region of Galatia and Phrygia in order, strengthening all the disciples." Acts 18:23....

"Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man and mighty in the Scriptures, came to Ephesus. This man had been instructed in the way of the Lord; and being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things of the Lord, though he knew only the baptism of John. So he began to speak boldly in the synagogue. When Aquila and Priscilla heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately. ... He greatly helped those who had believed through grace; for he vigorously refuted the Jews publicly, showing from the Scriptures that Jesus is the Christ." Acts 18:24-27

Are prepared for challenges to their faith

"Also from among yourselves men will rise up, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after themselves. Therefore watch, and remember that for three years I did not cease to warn everyone night and day with tears." Acts 20:30-31

"He said to the disciples, 'The days will come when you will desire to see one of the days of the Son of Man, and you will not see it. And they will say to you, ‘Look here!’ or ‘Look there!’ Do not go after them or follow them." Luke 17:22-23

"Then the Pharisees and scribes asked Him, 'Why do Your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat bread with unwashed hands?'
"He answered and said to them, 'Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written: ‘This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’" Mark 7:4-7

"He began to say to His disciples first of all, 'Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. ... And I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, fear Him!" Luke 12:1- 5

"He said to His disciples, 'Beware of the scribes, who desire to go around in long robes, love greetings in the marketplaces, the best seats in the synagogues, and the best places at feasts, who devour widows’ houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. These will receive greater condemnation.”" Luke 20:45-47

Speak truth that separate the true disciples from pretenders

"And He said, 'Therefore 'I have said to you that no one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father.' From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more.
"Then Jesus said to the twelve, 'Do you also want to go away?'
"But Simon Peter answered Him, 'Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. Also we have come to believe and know that You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.'" John 6:60-68

"His disciples asked Him, saying, 'What does this parable mean?' And He said, 'To you it has been given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to the rest it is given in parables, that ‘Seeing they may not see, and hearing they may not understand.'" Luke 8:9-10

"He turned to His disciples and said privately, 'Blessed are the eyes which see the things you see; for I tell you that many prophets and kings have desired to see what you see, and have not seen it, and to hear what you hear, and have not heard it." Luke 10:23-24

Obey their Master

"....to him the Lord said in a vision, 'Ananias.' And he said, 'Here I am, Lord.' So the Lord said to him, 'Arise and go to the street called Straight, and inquire at the house of Judas for one called Saul of Tarsus, for behold, he is praying. 'And in a vision he has seen a man named Ananias coming in and putting his hand on him, so that he might receive his sight.'
"Then Ananias answered, 'Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much harm he has done to Your saints in Jerusalem. And here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on Your name.'
"But the Lord said to him, 'Go, for he is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name before Gentiles, kings, and the children of Israel. For I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name's sake.' And Ananias went his way." Acts 9:10-17

"....the word of the Lord was being spread throughout all the region. But the Jews stirred up the devout and prominent women and the chief men of the city, raised up persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and expelled them from their region. But they shook off the dust from their feet against them, and came to Iconium. And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit." Acts 13:49-52

"...we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed... perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed — always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body." 2 Corinthians 4:7-10

“But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.“ Acts 20:24

Living For Christ Versus Christ Living Trough Us

It is not your living for God but letting God live trough you that will enable you live a successful Christian life. See more!

Not really perceiving and understanding this fact –that we can’t truly live for God unless we let God live trough us- leads to a mentality based on performance, therefore it is an outward motivation, a legalist thinking and all the constrictions that come along this line.

Let’s take an example of most Christians’ lives today: go to church, sing in the choir, give to the poor, tell about God’s salvation to other people, dress the proper way and so on. All these are not bad things in themselves but have become a habit or a normality that you have to live up to if you want to be accepted in church.

Can an atheist come and do the same? Of course he can! He can be good to the poor he can come to the church every Sunday, can sing in the choir and all that! What then differentiates someone who has learnt to live like this but does not genuinely love God?

Sometimes we don’t even realize that all this church activism is done just to be accepted by other fellows and has nothing to do with the love of God for us. In the back of our minds many of us think "if I do this, God is going to love me more! If I fast more, God is going to accept me more, if I give money God will love me even more" and so on. Well, even if I was taught that salvation is not earn by my good deeds, somehow because I heard that I have to do something for God, to strive to do my best, I did that but it is only after a long time that I realized I have mixed the love for God with a certain duty I had to accomplish and when I did all these things I thought God would say"Well done my child" and this way I would earn more favor with God.

When we think like that the next step is to feel this quilt inside because you did not do more or better as there’s always room for more and there’s always room for improvement. And God knows you could have done better and more! Do you see here the condemning attitude? Well, guess what? Next time you will do more and better but … all this circle does is to improve performance and to create competition. The end of the circle is when you bump your head against the wall and realize that all your best efforts can’t help you live a life of victory.

I did bump my had against this wall, thank God! It was then when I woke up and realized that I was still trusting myself for a certain percentage, trusting that I could live for God. However, in His kindness and love for me, God showed me that it was not a matter of outside rules and sets of principles but it was a heart matter. Did I love God or not?

I understood step by step that I was so legalistic in my approach to people and God that I still have to carefully examine myself to get rid of this because I am sure I have lots of legalistic things in my life. However, I realized that to really live a life for God, the motivation has to come as a response to God’s love for me and me grasping to the best of my ability that God loves me infinitely already regardless of my fasting, my tithing etc. I can’t earn more of His love by doing all this things! He already loves me but when I fast, it is my heart that opens more, it is my heart that comes to a place where I can receive more of God’s infinite love.

An old lady once said:"I think that the people who follow God for fear of hell (and not out of love for Him), they’ll end up in hell anyway." I don’t want to say that this is necessarily so, but I want to point out that it is until recently that I have come to know that Jesus did not just die so that we would have our sins forgiven thus escaping hell. He died to offer us eternal life and eternal life means knowing God and His Son Jesus Christ. It is so much more than a free ticket to Heaven! Of course to go to Heaven is great (may we all get there!) but God offers eternal life now and here in this life! You don’t have to wait to get to Heaven and only then start to know God! He is very much alive here and now!

Therefore don’t wait, read the Bible, let it sink inside your mind and heart, think, meditate on it and apply it every day of your life; know that God’s love is unconditional and you’ll fall in love with God. Once you fall in love with God, nothing else, no other joy can compare to the joy of knowing God. It is like an addiction and you want a bigger and a bigger dose each day.

When you understand how much you are loved, when you let God pour this love upon you it is only than that you can do all the other things (like fasting, praying, going to the church and any other thing) with the right motivation. It is then when you stop comparing your achievements and it is then when you serve God most in every little detail.