Vices and Virtues in Marriage - Faithfulness vs Adultery

Ephesians 5:21-31
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

We all have particular Character traits that make us who we are. These are the virtues and vices that we carry around in our heart and mind. The question is are we actually using our virtuous character traits to live our life with? Or are we allowing our vices to overwrite the virtues of who we are?

Are we awarding our marriage with the importance it deserves or are we behaving lazy by not contributing the positive aspects of our self into the marriage?

Mark 10:6-9
"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Ask your self. Who am I? What does my marriage mean to me? Am I done growing? Am I happy with me?

I don't think we ever stop growing spiritually or mentally. I believe we continue to learn and to grow until we pass on. The amount of spiritual and mental growth we accomplish is all up to what we believe in and what we do with those beliefs.

If a person doesn't place too much importance on their marriage they tend to base their marriage upon certain vices and indulgences to feed their ego.

Romans 12:10b
Honor one another above yourselves.

Ephesians 5:21-31
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

In other words, they haven't figured out yet, that happiness is up to them and what virtues they bring into their marriage not what vices they support the marriage with.

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Our potential in life is much greater than we allow it to be and we actually stunt the spiritual and mental growth process by way of our mind. Our mind becomes consumed to live on the physical realm of feelings to such an extent that we don't know we can also feel good on the spiritual level as well.

1 Cor 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

We concern our selves with what FEELS good physically, what tastes good to our taste buds, and what looks appealing to the eyes, and yet, what about the spiritual mind, and learning to live our life under the support of God's world?

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Let's explore the difference between virtues and vices.

In this blog we'll take a look at faithfulness vs. adultery

Faithfulness is a virtuous character trait. Not everyone can be faithful in his or her marriage. There are those who place less value and importance on who they are. Unfortunately the health and welfare of marriage is up to what a person brings into it, how they feel about self, and what they believe in.

Proverbs - Chapter 20:6
Many a man proclaims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?

Those people who are spiritually aware are those who use the potential within them and who ultimately have better marriages. The reason for this is they bring upright and moral character traits from self into the marriage. They make their marriage what it is, good or bad, by what foundation they use to base their marriage on.

Col 3:12-14
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

The world is a tempting place to all couples in marriage, and there are good-looking guys and gals everywhere that will tempt us to be with them sexually, I have often been heard quoting "There is always someone prettier or better looking than you"; and yet, not all married people commit adultery!

Proverbs - Chapter 5:20-21
Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?
For a man's ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths.

Matthew - Chapter 5:27-28
You have heard that it was said, "Do not commit adultery." But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

The difference between the adulterer and the faithful spouse goes back to the virtues and vices within them. The person who commits the act of adultery in flesh or mind (as it is the same in God's and most spouses eyes) has not grown out from self in a spiritual way but has stayed within the selfish aspect of who they are. Selfishness usually doesn't understand the commitment of marriage, respect, honesty and trust. It is too selfish to comprehend those virtues of character. Respect, honesty and trust can be defined in multiple ways, however Respect in a marriage is treating ones spouse with considerable care by your own actions as not to cause harm, hurt or pain to them whether it be the way you treat them, speak to them or carry on with others (eg: inappropriateness with others, flirtations with others, going out drinking, not calling causing worry) . Honesty in a marriage is not hiding behind false ideas, misleading, covering up actions, doing anything that ones spouse is not aware of especially if they would not approve or it would hinder the Honesty and Trust issue in the marriage. Trust in a marriage is keeping yourself only for ones spouse by body, touch, thoughts, words, and sexually, never allowing disrespect to occur or dishonesty to cloud the marriage. Without trust, marriages are often impossible to continue.

First Corinthians - Chapter 6:18-20
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?
You are not your own; You were bought at a price.
Therefore honor God with your body.

Selfishness and rebelliousness runs rampant in marriages, which is the root of most divorce in this society.

This is not to say that they cannot expand their horizons someday and grow out from self and learn to be of more virtuous character either. All I am saying is these people still need to grow spiritually and mentally. And then again, a number of people never decide to take the virtuous path and so end up living their life not knowing all they can accomplish for them selves and for those around them. This is called being spiritually stunted.

What makes a person succeed does not stem from what one does such as career, money and or power but by what one is, which is the virtuous character traits of that person. If they have expanded their spiritual paths by learning to live by virtues rather than vices and still be happy and content with themselves and life, they have succeeded.

Too many people misunderstand the meaning of success, thinking it has something to do with how much money one has or that their mortgage is paid off. Anyone can have those things with the right ambition but not everyone can have virtues of character.

Now on the opposite side of faithfulness we have adultery. So then what is the difference between the faithful spouse and the spouse who commits adultery? The faithful spouse does not live by physical but by virtues of character; which has been given to them through spiritual learning and growth.

1 Cor 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

In other words, virtue of character overwrites the sinful temptations of the world. They do not allow the temptation or desire to supersede over the virtuous mind within them, and the true God given love that is shared between two people God joined in the covenant of marriage.

The repeated adulterer(ess) doesn't place too much value upon who he is. It may seem to others that he does regard himself highly but really he is hiding behind a cloak of deceit, mostly to him self.

In a pea pod, life and what we make of it will always come back to the value of self. And if you have already read any of my blogs you know that I place high importance on fixing self FIRST. Only then can we get to the root of the problems and circumstances that surround our life.

In other words, until a person grows out from the selfish aspects of who they are, they will live in their weakness, feeling bitter, unhappy, and hopeless. To them their only hope is the pleasure they receive from their vices. But there is hope.

Once a person understands how to grow out from the negative and destructive vices of self, the sooner they can begin to use the potential within them. Which are his God given virtues of character.

Know and believe this, everyone has a spiritual aspect of self hidden away within him or her. God provides us with spiritual tools such as faith, self-control, patience, love, kindness, and peace to help us to grow out from the selfish aspects of self.

The question we might ask ourselves then is are we using our vices or virtues to live our life by? Am I happy with me? Because you will never be fully happy with anyone no matter how perfect they are and you will keep searching and searching for that perfect person when all along it was you that needed found. Only God can complete a person. One that occurs marriages shrive and prosper.

1 Cor 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Being responsible for ones own actions! We answer alone, God does not punish the innocent.

Galatians 6:2

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:5

For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

“For each one shall bear his own load”

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Note the apparent contradiction between verse two and verse five. Verse two says, “Bear one another’s burdens…” This verse says, “For each one shall bear his own load.” Whenever we have antithetical statements in close proximity to one another, it is obvious the author did not intend to contradict himself. We shouldn’t see a contradiction when there is none.

Verse two has to do with carrying someone else’s burden of another while verse five has to do with carrying a personal concern, a task no one can deal with except the person involved. Verse five confirms verse four. Each of us will bear personal responsibility at the judgment seat of Christ.

For each one shall bear his own load

The difference between “load” and “burden” (Galatians 6:2) is that “load” refers simply to something to be carried as personal responsibility while “burden” refers to weight (heavy). “Burden” is something that is burdensome.

The word “own” indicates personal responsibility. Certain things we can share with others, but personal issues must be addressed between God and us alone. We will stand before the judgment seat of Christ alone.

“But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it is written:

‘As I live, says the Lord,
Every knee shall bow to Me,
And every tongue shall confess to God.’

So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way” (Romans 14:10-13). Although many of our brothers do not except our resolve, or willingness to help and would rather blame and accuse us of wrongful accusations themselves as to hide their own shame and wrongdoings in the face of others.

In the military, each soldier must carry his own weapon. When a soldier falls in battle, his fellow soldiers must come to assist him. We must carry personal, moral responsibility alone.

The opposite of pride is not bogus self-abasement but authentic examination of ourselves in the light of God’s Word. Legalism uses overt and subjective tests, not real or genuine testing. God wants us to test our own work rather than contrast it with others less worthy.

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Principle:

Each believer is responsible for his own spiritual production. And their own actions.

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Application:

Where a spirit of censoriousness, malice and bitterness prevails, there is no application of the principle of grace to self. It will be too late to correct this attitude at the judgment seat of Christ. There, every tub will sit on its own bottom. You will have no one to blame but yourself. Each believer is responsible for his own spiritual production. We will not be able to blame others at the judgment seat of Christ.

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad [worthless]” (2 Corinthians 5:10).

It is crucial that we allow the Lord to harness us while we still have our health and opportunity to serve the Lord. We need to come out of our religious reclusion. This is a luxury that we cannot afford. Jesus will give us His report card one day. Some grades will be less than an “A.”

Allow God to make you a blessing to someone else. Have you tested yourself to ascertain whether you are a blessing rather than a curse to someone lately?

BE CAREFUL ABOUT BLAMING AND CURSING OTHERS IN LIGHT OF ONES OWN FAULTS, GOD DOES NOT PUNISH THE INNOCENT. WE ARE INFINITELY GOING TO PAY FOR OUR OWN SINS NO MATTER HOW MANY FINGERS WE POINT ON THIS EARTH.

Romans 12:19

'Vengeance IS mine sayeth the Lord'

The wrath of God is God’s settled anger toward sin expressed in the repayment of suitable vengeance on the guilty sinner.

And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire. ⁴⁵ And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into hell. ⁴⁷ And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell, ⁴⁸ where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.

So Jesus says in Matthew 13:41-42, “The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all law-breakers, ⁴² and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (see verse 49). Then he adds at least three more terrible images of God’s wrath besides fire.

1. He pictures it as a master returning and finding his servant disobeying his commands, and he “will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 24:51). The wrath of God is like cutting someone in pieces.
2. Then he pictures it as darkness: “The sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 8:12). The wrath of God is like being totally blind forever.
3. Finally he quotes Isaiah 66:24 and says “Their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched” (Mark 9:48). In Isaiah 66:24 God says, “And they shall go out and look on the dead bodies of the men who have rebelled against me. For their worm shall not die, their fire shall not be quenched, and they shall be an abhorrence to all flesh.”
   

The wrath of God will be "DESERVED"—totally just and right.

Paul labored to show this in the first part of this letter to the Romans. Let me remind you of how he said it: “The wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth” (Romans 1:18). Wrath does not come without warrant. It is deserved. The truth of God is known (Romans 1:19-20). And the truth is suppressed. And the fruit is ungodliness and unrighteousness. And on that comes wrath (Ephesians 5:6; Colossians 3:6).

He says it even more explicitly in Romans 2:5, “Because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed.” We are responsible. We are storing up wrath with every act of indifference to Christ. With every preference for anything over God. With every quiver of our affection for sin and every second of our dull affections for God.

Then he says it once more in Romans 3:5-6, “If our unrighteousness serves to show the righteousness of God, what shall we say? That God is unrighteous to inflict wrath on us? (I speak in a human way.) ⁶ By no means! For then how could God judge the world?” Nothing was clearer for the inspired apostle than that God is just and God will judge the world in terrible wrath.

And lest you think that your sins do not deserve this kind of wrath, ponder these four things:

1. It was one sin alone that brought the entire world under the judgment of God, and brought death upon all people (Genesis 2:17; Romans 5:12). And you have not committed one sin, but tens of thousands of sins.
2. Consider James 2:10, “For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it.” Not only have you sinned tens of thousands of times, but each one had in it the breaking of the entire law of God.
3. Consider Galatians 3:10, “For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, ‘Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law, and do them.’” The wrath of God’s curse falls on us for not obeying all that is commanded.(EVEN RIGHT DOWN TO "ALL TEN COMMANDMENTS") One failure and the curse falls.
4. Consider that any offense and any dishonor to an infinitely honorable and infinitely worthy God, is an infinite offense and an infinite dishonor. Therefore, an infinite punishment is deserved.

Which leaves one last point to make. And Oh, how crucial it is! How precious it is. How infinitely beautiful it is.

At the end of the age, when the full and final wrath of God is poured out, it will have been escapable.

That means it is escapable now. You do not have to spend eternity under the wrath of God if you will receive God’s Son as your Savior and Lord and Treasure. Why is that? How can that be? Because God so loved the world that he sent his own infinitely valuable Son to absorb the infinite wrath of God against all who take refuge in him. Listen with trembling wonder and gratitude and faith to this precious statement from Galatians 3:13, “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, 'Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree.'"

Christ bore the curse of God’s wrath for all who come to him and believe in him and glory in the shelter of his blood and righteousness. Come. Come. He is infinitely worthy.

WHY EASTER??

Jesus came to compensate
For all the wrongs we do.
He came to earth to die for us,
So we’d be born anew."This bitter cup, let it pass from me,"
He cried, in a plaintive voice;
"Yet not My will, but Thine be done;"
He said, in His faithful choice.The Judas kiss would seal his fate;
He faced a hostile crowd;
The governor, Pilate, saw through it all;
Jesus’ guilt he disavowed."I wash my hands of all of this,"
Said Pilate, "Let Him be."
But the crowd yelled "Crucify him now,
And set Barabbas free!"Pilate yielded to their wish;
And Jesus was led away.
The soldiers beat him, and mocked Him, too,
Yet He continued to obey.A crown of thorns lay on His head,
As His sentence was carried out;
His hands and feet were pierced with nails,
But He did not scream or shout."Father, forgive them for this crime;
They know not what they do."
He said this despite His torment, because,
He was thinking of me and you."It is finished," he sighed in His anguish and his pain,
As His body gave up to death.
The curtain tore, and darkness fell,
After He took His last breath.The best of the story is the very last part;
It’s why on Easter we’re filled with pleasure:
Death could not our Savior hold;
His power is beyond all measure.He rose from the grave, and was seen all around;
Ever since, He’s inspired devotion,
And we’ll be with Him for eternity,
When we get our heavenly promotion.That’s why Easter is a major event:
He suffered and died in our place.
He rose and forgave us and loves us still,
Our Savior of matchless grace.

THE ART OF STAYING IN LOVE!

The Art of Staying in Love


What is more exciting and exhilarating than falling in love? Is there anything?

Sadly, though, many of us have learned that it's just as easy to fall out of love as it was to fall into it. And while finding love and affection is one of our greatest personal needs, why is it that so few seem to stay in love?

Falling in love can be the start of a loving relationship, but lasting relationships don't just happen; they grow. In many ways nurturing a relationship is like tending a garden. Neglect it and it dies. Constant care and cultivation—including the following suggestions—are needed to keep love alive and growing.

Love is being there. One of the chief ingredients of love is to give another person your presence. Without presence, as Dr. David Augsburger says, love receives an invitation to die. Couples must find the time to make every minute count when experiencing long bouts of being apart for work, school, or economical reasons.

Presence is not only spending physical time with another person but also giving him or her your undivided attention when you are with them, or even on the phone. It includes being sensitive to his/her feelings and aware of his/her needs. It means not only hearing with your ears but, much more so, hearing with your heart.

For instance, recently I visited with a friend who spent the entire time talking about his interests and concerns. I tried to share some of my interests, too, but felt as if my words fell on deaf ears. There was no experiencing of MUTUAL PRESENCE—the basis for all meaningful relationships including friendships.

Loving relationships don't
just happen: they grow.

Love is understanding. Most behavior is caused or motivated. Once we understand this, we can be much more accepting and loving. For example, one father I know was having difficulty with one of his two children. One was the "perfect" child, the other constantly rebelling."

Is one of your children a favorite?" I asked the father. With a tinge of embarrassment he admitted the "good" child was. "Do you think this could be the cause of your difficult son's negative behavior?" I asked again. The answer was obvious.

Much negative behavior in adults as well as children is caused by not feeling adequately loved. This may have its roots in present relationships or from unmet childhood needs. Either way, when people are acting negatively, pulling away or yelling, they are hurting and, in a way, however clumsily, are yelling for help. If we can see this and take the time to understand the real cause behind their behavior instead of taking it personally and yelling back, we can go a long way in strengthening our love relationships.

Love is accepting responsibility. Most of us bring the excess baggage of unresolved issues from the past into our close relationships. For example, the man who didn't get along with his mother and is still angry at her, will inevitably take out his hostility on his wife and family. Or the woman who felt mistreated by her father or some other significant male and is distrustful of men will take out her hurt and anger on her husband, and so on.

If we desire to stay in love, it is imperative that each of us accepts the responsibility for resolving our inner conflicts that cause dissension in our present relationships. We were not responsible for our upbringing but we are now totally responsible for what we do about resolving any negative effects our past had on us.

Love is more than sex. Love is much more than a physical relationship. It is also an emotional relationship. The man who ignores the emotional needs of his wife and expects to receive a warm response in bed is inviting frustration. Women are not machines to be turned on at will. Sex starts in the kitchen at six, not in the bedroom at nine. A long-lasting physical relationship is the result of an ongoing healthy emotional relationship.

On the other hand, the wife who no longer shows any interest in her husband's life outside the home feels totally shocked when she discovers that one of the younger women at the office has. Many men (and women too) who get involved in extra-marital activity, don't do it so much for sexual reasons but for companionship—someone who will listen to them and make them feel important and appreciated.

Love is romance. I read about one woman who had been married for 25 years. She was in her front yard when the newlywed man from across the street arrived home from work. His wife rushed out the door to greet him and they stood embracing for a long time.

The observer got the message. When her husband came home that evening she did likewise. The rewards of all such romantic gestures are well worth the effort. And men, don't forget that our ladies love a rose from time to time and other "little things" that make them feel loved and important. A good tip for keeping romance alive, as one person suggested, is to have an affair—with your wife?

Love is a commitment. Love that lasts is a commitment of one imperfect person to another imperfect person. It means that no matter what, I am committed to you and to your growth. I will be what you need me to be—not necessarily what you want me to be. If you need me to be loving and affectionate, I will be loving and affectionate. Or, if for your growth you need me to be tough and firm, I will be tough and firm. Within the bounds of my own imperfections I will always strive to do and be what is best for your growth.

True love is a commitment
of one imperfect person to
another imperfect person.

This kind of commitment means that one will not try to manipulate the other person to get his or her own way, but will at all times maintain gut-level, open and honest communication. It isn't easy, but it is the way of love.

Love is spiritual. Love is not only physical and emotional, it is also spiritual. For instance, there have been studies that show the link between religion (the spiritual) and the family. They concluded that couples who attend church regularly are 42 percent more likely to be still married for the first time than couples who don't go to church.

However, it’s more than just going to church that makes a marriage happy. It's commitment that make the difference. Those truly committed to their spiritual faith are 23 percent more likely to have a "very happy" marriage than couples who don't go to church.

The point is when we respond to God's love, he gives us "a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline"1—all essential for cultivating loving relationships.

So, if you don't attend church regularly, why not start this week. Find a church where love, friendship, and affection are expressed. This, too, can help to greatly enrich your love life.

1. 2 Timothy 1:7.

What does the Bible say about forgiveness?

After this weeks events in my life, I find it hard almost to write this, but I have to KNOW that God has his hand on me and my family and when you KNOW you are living for him then you KNOW freedom from evil and torment is not your fate. I KNOW that I can forgive injustices as my reward is far greater as I will find peace in God. With that been said, I pray that others can find forgiveness inside themselves, I pray that others may look at a person and the wrongs from their past and realize that they are capable of change and a new life, and that forgiveness opens their eyes. Without forgiveness we are lost, and tied to the past. Let us move into the future living our new lives and going into our new direction with understanding of others, and support, not anger and shame. Let us make a choice to be forgiven and to give forgiveness to those who hurt and try to harm us.

Misty

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT FORGIVENESS?

It is not uncommon for Christians to have questions about forgiveness. Forgiveness does not come easy for most of us. Our natural instinct is to recoil in self-protection when we've been injured. We don't naturally overflow with mercy, grace and forgiveness when we've been wronged.

Is forgiveness a conscious choice, a physical act involving the will, or is it a feeling, an emotional state of being? The Bible offers insight and answers to these and many more common questions about forgiveness. We'll take a look at the most common questions and find out what the Bible says about forgiveness.

Is forgiveness a conscious choice, or an emotional state?

I believe forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to forgive.

The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

How do we forgive when we don't feel like it? How do we translate the decision to forgive into a change of heart?

We forgive by faith, out of obedience. Since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.

I believe God honors our commitment to obey Him and our desire to please him when we choose to forgive. He completes the work in his time. We must continue to forgive (our job), by faith, until the work of forgiveness (the Lord's job), is done in our hearts.

Philippians 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

How will we know if we have truly forgiven?

Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."

We will know the work of forgiveness is complete when we experience the freedom that comes as a result. We are the ones who suffer most when we choose not to forgive. When we do forgive, the Lord sets our hearts free from the anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt that previously imprisoned us.

Most times, however, forgiveness is a slow process.

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

This answer by Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not easy for us. It's not a one-time choice and then we automatically live in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving, but it is important to the Lord. We must continue forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart.

What if the person we need to forgive is not a believer?

I have found that prayer is one of the best ways to break down the wall of un-forgiveness in my heart. When I begin to pray for the person who has wronged me, God begins to give me new eyes to see that person and a new heart to care for that person. As I pray I begin to see that person as God sees them, and I realize that person is precious to the Lord. I also see myself in a new light, just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. I too am in need of forgiveness. If God did not withhold his forgiveness from me, why should I withhold my forgiveness from another?

Is it okay to feel anger and want justice for the person we need to forgive?

This question presents another reason to pray for the person we need to forgive. We can pray for God to deal with the injustices, for God to judge the person's life, and then we can leave that prayer at the altar. We no longer have to carry the anger. Although it is normal for us to feel anger toward sin and injustice, it is not our job to judge the other person in their sin.

Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Why must we forgive?

The best reason to forgive is because Jesus commanded us to forgive. We learn from Scripture, if we don't forgive, neither will we be forgiven:

Matthew 6:14-16
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

We also forgive so that our prayers will not be hindered:

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

In summary and in closing, we forgive out of obedience to the Lord. It is a choice, a decision we make. However, as we do this "forgiving," we discover the command is in place for our own good, and we receive the reward of our forgiveness - freedom.

What does the Bible say about patience?

Question: "What does the Bible say about patience?"

Answer: When everything is going our way, patience is easy to demonstrate. The true test of patience comes when our rights are violated—when another car cuts us off in traffic; when we are treated unfairly; when our coworker derides our faith, again. Some people think they have a right to get upset in the face of irritations and trials. Impatience seems like a holy anger. The Bible, however, praises patience as a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) which should be produced for all followers of Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:14). Patience reveals our faith in God’s timing, omnipotence, and love.

Although most people consider patience to be a passive waiting or gentle tolerance, most of the Greek words translated “patience” in the New Testament are active, robust words. Consider, for example, Hebrews 12:1: “Therefore since we also are surrounded with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily besets us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us”. Does one run a race by passively waiting for slow-pokes or gently tolerating cheaters? Certainly not! The word translated “patience” in this verse means “endurance.” A Christian runs the race patiently by persevering through difficulties. In the Bible, patience is persevering towards a goal, enduring trials, or expectantly waiting for a promise to be fulfilled.

Patience does not develop overnight. God’s power and goodness are crucial to the development of patience. Colossians 1:11 tells us that we are strengthened by Him to “great endurance and patience,” while James 1:3-4 encourages us to know that trials are His way of perfecting our patience. Our patience is further developed and strengthened by resting in God’s perfect will and timing, even in the face of evil men who “succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes” (Psalm 37:7). Our patience is rewarded in the end “because the Lord's coming is near” (James 5:7-8). “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him” (Lamentations 3:25).

We see in the Bible many examples of those whose patience characterized their walk with God. James points us to the prophets “as an example of patience in the face of suffering” (James 5:10). He also refers to Job, whose perseverance was rewarded by what the “Lord finally brought about” (James 5:11). Abraham, too, waited patiently and “received what was promised” (Hebrews 6:15). Jesus is our model in all things, and He demonstrated patient endurance: “Who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).

How do we display the patience that is characteristic of Christ? First, we thank God. A person’s first reaction is usually “Why me?”, but the Bible says to rejoice in God’s will (Philippians 4:4; 1 Peter 1:6). Second, we seek His purposes. Sometimes God puts us in difficult situations so that we can be a witness. Other times, He might allow a trial for sanctification of character. Remembering that His purpose is for our growth and His glory will help us in the trial. Third, we remember His promises such as Romans 8:28, which tells us that “all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” The “all things” include the things that try our patience.

The next time you are in a traffic jam, betrayed by a friend, put through a trial in life, or mocked for your testimony, how will you respond? The natural response is impatience which leads to stress, anger, and frustration. Praise God that, as Christians, we are no longer in bondage to a “natural response” because we are new creations in Christ Himself (2 Corinthians 5:17). Instead, we have the Lord’s strength to respond with patience and in complete trust in the Father’s power and purpose. “To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life” (Romans 2:7).

I myself, even more so lately as I try to be closer to God find it hard, and very frustrating at times to find the patience that I know my Savior has put in me. I am so thankful for the man that God has put in my life, as I know he was sent to be my partner not only as a mate but as a brother in Christ. He helps ground me and prays for me. Having a christian mate makes all the difference in the world. It is so important to surround yourself with positive christian people if not your mate, in these times of trials when your feeling your most frustrated and weak. I know I have a greater purpose in life and that is to serve my Lord and do his perfect will. I believe that all things are possible through him and prayer is our best weapon against the worlds negativity and the devils continuous taunting. I pray for God' s peace to allow us to show patience through all situations and that God's grace will be sufficient to sustain us through all things.

Blessed are the PEACEMAKERS, for they shall be known as the Children of God. But I say to you that hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To those who strike you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from those who take away your cloak, do not withhold your coat as well. Give to everyone who begs from you, and of those who take away your goods, do not ask them again. And as you wish that others would do to you, so do to them.

Reflections for the New Year.

God has a plan for me. It is hidden within me, just as the oak is hidden within the acorn, or the rose within the bud. As I yield myself more fully to God, His plan expresses itself more perfectly through me. I can tell when I am in tune with it, for then my mind and my heart are filled with a deep, inner peace. This peace fills me with a sense of security, with joy, and a desire to take the steps that are a part of the plan.

God's plan for me is a perfect part of a larger plan. It is designed for the good of all and not for me alone. It is a multi- sided plan and reaches out through all the people I meet. All the events and people who come into my life are instruments of the unfolding of this plan.

God has chosen those people he wants me to know, to love and to serve. We are continually being drawn to one another in ways that are not coincidental. I pray that I may become a better instrument to love and to serve and that I may become more worthy to receive the love and service of others.

I ask the Father within me for only those things which he wants me to have. I know that these benefits will come to me at the right time and in the right way and in his time. This inner knowing frees my mind and heart from all fear, greed, jealousy, anger and resentment. It gives me courage, and faith to do those things which I feel are mine to do. I no longer look with envy at what others are receiving. Therefore, I do not cut myself off from God, the giver of all good things.

God's gifts to me can be many times greater than I am now receiving. I pray that I may increase my capacity to give, for I can give only as I receive, and receive only as I give.

I believe that when I cannot do those things I desire to do, It is because God has closed one door only to open a better and larger door. If I do not see the door just ahead, It is because I have not seen, heard, or obeyed God's guidance. It is then that God uses the trouble of seeming failure which may result to help me face myself, and see the new opportunity before me.

The real purpose of my life is to find God within my own mind and heart, obey him as I full fill his plan for me. I thank my father for each experience which helps me to surrender my will to his will. For only as I Lose myself in his will and stay in his great presence will his plan for my life be fulfilled.

As I come into the New Year, I pray that God leads me into his perfect plan and will. I will be receptive to his teaching and his voice.